Have just flown over from Aus to spend a month trying to help my brother settle Mum into nursing home with good dementia care facilities. Mum as I spoke before is extremely difficult and narcissistic when she does not get her way shouting and abusive and holding grudges. Though in front of others often presents as charming but she can’t maintain it. In order to prevent her kicking off in hospital the decision by social worker and my brother was not to tell her till we knew she is in transit. She has been diagnosed with Vascular Dementia and delerium with the paranoia and obsessive fixations about other patients and nurses though on the whole has enjoyed watching comings and goings as next to nurses station for last 7 weeks recovering from a fall at home whilst living solo supported by regular carers toileting, dressing etc. Has been refused a place by first two best choice nursing homes as being not a mental or psychological fit for their other residents. I don’t know how to tell her today when I travel with her. My brother will meet me at the nursing home where we have put some of her things with more furniture and pics to follow. Do I fib, lie tell the truth this is your new home now Mum where you will have great carers? Also like daughter with rescue dog Mum took on cat with similar clause to return him so not just her house and things but also missing cat to contend with. Any ideas how I tell Mum later today?