It seems absolutely nothing. All I know is as much as I love dad, I look forward to the day when the main caregiver can no longer use him (as did with mom) simply because sibling disliked me. Because by then he two will have taken his rest and then....
Wishing families could live in harmony but it has to be wanted by everyone...
I think sometimes non primary care siblings feel that the caregiver sibling is limiting their access but it is only their perspective. I know at my home, any visits need to be communicated the day before, reason being it is my home and I may have other things planned. I have refused visits when my family has plans to come over or the day I had my driveway repaved. On those days, they can take the elder with them but they are not welcome to visit here.
Absolutely! Common courtesy goes a long way! No one should expect the world only to revolve around them. People should respect the caregiver’s needs and schedule.
I agree with both posts here. It should be about what is best overall for the parent. It’s sort of like parents who use children as pawns in a divorce, which is sad. So many people divorce and still have an amicable relationship regarding the children.
The only reason a child should not see a parent is due to abuse. Otherwise, if the relationship is respectful of everyone, the children deserve to be with both parents. The same should apply to grandparents, aunts and uncles. My brother has married four times. I am on friendly terms with all the wives and my nieces and nephews. They tell me, “We divorced your brother, not you! You will always be in our lives.”
Agree with Countrymouse's limiting v. preventing observation. If your sibling isn't the PoA for your parent, I don't see why you can't go over there for a visit if you are being prevented from seeing her. If she has her right mind, she can decide who she sees and doesn't. If you are concerned for her welfare then you can request the police stop by to check, which will unnerve your sibling and not score points. Further concern would warrant reporting her to APS as a vulnerable adult to get her on their radar. But if this sibling IS her PoA (and can prove it), it's another story unless you have actual evidence (and not just an opinion) that he/she is mismanaging or abusing her.
If it's limiting, be considerate of the guidelines the caregiving sibling has set. Is there any reason you couldn't manage that?
If it's preventing, what reason does the sibling give?
Whatever is happening and however you decide to proceed, remember that this is not about your right to see your parent, it's about your parent's right to contact with his or her children.
Wishing families could live in harmony but it has to be wanted by everyone...
I think sometimes non primary care siblings feel that the caregiver sibling is limiting their access but it is only their perspective. I know at my home, any visits need to be communicated the day before, reason being it is my home and I may have other things planned. I have refused visits when my family has plans to come over or the day I had my driveway repaved. On those days, they can take the elder with them but they are not welcome to visit here.
The only reason a child should not see a parent is due to abuse. Otherwise, if the relationship is respectful of everyone, the children deserve to be with both parents.
The same should apply to grandparents, aunts and uncles. My brother has married four times. I am on friendly terms with all the wives and my nieces and nephews. They tell me, “We divorced your brother, not you! You will always be in our lives.”
It’s nice when we are able to live in harmony.
If it's limiting, be considerate of the guidelines the caregiving sibling has set. Is there any reason you couldn't manage that?
If it's preventing, what reason does the sibling give?
Whatever is happening and however you decide to proceed, remember that this is not about your right to see your parent, it's about your parent's right to contact with his or her children.