My father recently passed away a month ago. He and my sister had a falling out 6 years ago and haven't been in touch. The will was shared with us where it simply states that assets are to be divided between myself and my sister.
The executor asked me a couple weeks back what items I was interested in from my father's apartment. I said:
- Some old toys
"Feel free to send pictures or ask me questions if there are items you are unsure about."
I called the executor to make sure this was ok and clear. The conversation was friendly.
A few days later, I got an email with over a 150 pictures of everything in his apartment, from garbage bags under the sink to a half finished carton of Oreos to toothpaste in the cupboard. The executor asked if I wanted more detailed pictures
I replied and thanked the executor for the detailed documentation (while I really felt like this was overdoing it), but that further such documentation was unnecessary.
Now my sister has come back into the picture. The executor is telling me that my sister would be traveling up to see my father's apartment and storage unit. The executor wrote to me "To this end we would need your clearly written consent and full permission for her to take anything she wants from the apartment and storage unit."
I live outside of the country and couldn't fly back for this. On the one hand, I am feeling frustrated and angry. I wish my father had just been more specific about things and avoided these situations. I have tried to be helpful and straightforward with the executor, even following up to confirm that I was clear, but just feel like in response I am getting less help. Almost like a lawyer, the executor is cross examining my little list, asking me about which photos I had in mind.
I don't want to get pulled into a conflict or family feud. I feel like the best thing is to put aside whatever emotions are building up inside, sign a letter of intent like the executor suggested, and wait to see whatever my sister leaves after she visits. In terms of things that might have questionable value the executor writes "the contents will be taken to a jewelry store for valuation and this information will be shared with the attorneys office, your sister and yourself."
Has anyone been through the distribution of assets, and had frustrations?