Will be 80 in a few weeks. Live alone in own home by choice with doctor and therapist's approval. No friends/family in area. Alert with high IQ but have slow cognitive functioning due to neuroendocrine disorder. Since October have been "aware" of credit card compromise, laptop cyber problems (subtle), bank irregularities, tax documents, etc. Because of age and illness I can't find anyone who will help me work through and resolve issues. It also impacts upcoming taxes. I am extremely anxious and depressed. At same time am dealing with sole family member after narcissistic sister died 3 years ago and stole all my inheritance ($100,000). Nephew is cyberbullying me also about continued inheritance issues which he keeps dredging up. Statute of limitations for legal action over which is OK. Just want to get nephew off back.
Recovering from fall on back in Feb with severe bruised lung and ribs with difficulty breathing. Can only take codeine for pain.
Would like someone to discuss with. Suggestions appreciated.

Start by talking to your bank. They can help you track the irregularities in your finances. Your bank can also recommend a good tax preparer; some banks even have a free or reduced price tax preparation service. Also file a report of theft with the police.

Please talk with your bank about automatic payments for your usual bills. That will keep you from having to remember to pay everybody.

Please talk to your doctor and/or a lawyer about how to handle managing your finances and legal issues as your cognitive function is impaired. You may be able to find an ombudsman or legal guardian/helper through your city's legal system.
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Reply to Taarna

Three3Meow3 ,

First, I'm curious about your cute screenname.  Do you have 3 cats?

Second, I can understand the frustration with so much to consider.    I've been there, done that, and still do it.    Sometimes I have to just set it all aside, divert my attention (like thumbing through a gardening catalogue), and "return to center" perspective.   You might want to try that, as it seems as though there's a lot going on in your life.

This is not unusual though, at any stage of life.  A friend of mind experienced it when she was working full time and going to law school 4 nights a week.   And she was in her 20's or early 30's.   The age and issues change, but pressure can still cripple our thinking. 

The answers I've read so far offer good insights; I'm not sure there's much I could add other than prioritizing, then listing the issues and potential solutions.    In one of my jobs I learned about Critical Path Method programming and find a very simplified version helps me.    Just listing the issues and potential solutions for each of the issues helps distance you and find your mind in a more analytical frame of mind.

Disgusted has already written most of what I would suggest, also separating the issues and offering good solutions.    You might just focus on the most important and serious at this time.

As to taxes, you might try to locate an enrolled agent, who has experience working directly with the IRS.    

I'm unclear why "age and illness" would be an inhibiting factor though.  Could you elaborate on this?

As an example of adapting an analytic approach, let's take the credit card issues (awareness "of credit card issues":

1.  What are the issues?
2.  How did they occur?  How can they be addressed, then stopped, then corrected?
3.  Who have you notified?
4.   Have you put fraud alerts on your credit?  
5.   Have you notified the affected creditors, and what action is being taken?
6.   What can be done to prevent this from happening again?

I think if you think this out, consider solutions, it won't seem so overwhelming; same approach applies to the other issues.

I'm not addressing the nephew and harassment issues as I don't know enough about them. 

I do wonder though if (a) the back pain makes you feel limited mentally as well as physically, and if the codeine is affecting your thinking?
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Reply to GardenArtist
disgustedtoo Mar 11, 2021
"As to taxes, you might try to locate an enrolled agent, who has experience working directly with the IRS."

I've recommended using Enrolled Agents before. I was managing doing mom's taxes prior to the move to MC, and even a bit later. However once we set up and started using the trust, it was out of my league! I wanted someone who fully understands all this and EAs are it! They have to pass test to become an EA and stay up to date with all the changes. The one I found is VERY good and knowledgeable. He's also good at explaining things to me.

The trust tax documentation is about 25 pages long, and my eyes glaze over after 1-2 pages! Once this was fed into mom's account, to cover the cost of MC and other needs not provided, I had him take over. The trust gets done first, then mom's. By allowing him to do this, no mistakes AND because MC is fully deductible, she pays no income tax (once confirmed, I submitted the right W form to stop withholding from her pension.)

Like any profession, there are good ones and not so good ones. This tool can help locate some in your area:
I would suggest that you consider a fiduciary to manage finances now and relieve you of this burden. When my brother was diagnosed with probably early Lewy's Dementia he asked me to take over as his POA and his Trustee of Trust. I handled all incoming bills, taxes, bank accounts, basically everything with all business mail coming to me. You would pay a fiduciary, but once all bills are incoming regularly it takes little time. Now that my bro is gone his ex has a fiduciary who acts in his behalf. The relief of the burden off of these fellows is enormous and my brother had few symptoms once he knew things would be handled and he would get monthly reports from me of assets in and payments out. It was a tremendous relief.
Your note to us proves you are truly very bright, but you are made anxious by this "stuff" of daily living. I think you would be relieved.
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Reply to AlvaDeer

"Since October have been "aware" of credit card compromise, laptop cyber problems (subtle), bank irregularities, tax documents, etc."

Credit Card compromise - did you contact the credit card company? This needs to be reported ASAP if you haven't already. They will cancel the card and issue a new one. Be VERY careful where you use it, especially online. Only use sites that you know and trust. Some companies offer "virtual" numbers that can be used online, so they don't get your actual CC #. Any recent contested charges can be handled, but going back to October, you may not get reimbursed, but they *might* be able to determine who made the charges.

What type of laptop problems? Viruses? Do you keep your virus and malware protection up to date? What are the "subtle" problems you see? What company provides your virus/malware protection? You should be able to call them to have them check your system.

Bank irregularities - again, such as what? If you think there are withdrawals you don't recognize, you need to work with the bank to find out what they are and whether they are legit. If there are unexplained charges, then they will need to close the account and create a new one (new numbers, just like CC.)

Tax documents? Without a little more information, this is perplexing. Generally we all get tax documents early in the year, such as W2s reporting job income, 1099s for retirement income, interest income or payments from banks, statements from any financial institutions managing trusts, 401k, IRAs, etc. If you are receiving bills from (or that appear to be from) the state revenue department or the IRS, lookup the contact info yourself, don't rely on the paperwork, as these could be scams. Entering "contact IRS" in search box will get your the IRS main number. REMEMBER: SS, MEDICARE, IRS, etc will NEVER call and ask you for info, unless you requested them to call you first!!! You don't list your state, but enter "contact revenue dept" followed by your state's 2 characters. IF there are outstanding issues, they can find them and address them with you. If there aren't, you might have to find out how to file a fraud report.

One useful suggestion is to freeze all your credit reports. You have to contact each of the 3 major bureaus to freeze (no charge to do this anymore.) This will prevent anyone using your SS to open accounts, get a job, rent, get loans, etc. You will get a PIN number, to use if you ever need to unfreeze it temporarily. NOTE: this will NOT protect current accounts. I set up alerts on everything I could, mainly because a person in the EC atty office sent my SS via email!!! BIG NO NO!! It cost me $30 to freeze my credit back then, and $10 more to unfreeze it once, but this is all free now.

If you can't resolve these with help from banks, CC companies, etc, do you have an atty? The bank or the atty might be able to at least point you to a good financial advisor or consultant who may help.

Prioritize your issues.

Looking into a few of these issues can be started with phone calls:
*If you haven't reported the CC issue, do so NOW and get the card closed and reissued. Ask if/when they can provide detailed accounting for any charges you don't recognize.
*Contact the bank and ask for an appointment to go over your account. Have statements ready and marked for questionable items. IF they can't resolve your questions, have the account closed and open another.
*Set up alerts on EVERYTHING! My CCs have multiple alerts, so I know daily balance, when charges are made, including if the card isn't present, banking logins, password changes, EVERYTHING I COULD CHOOSE! They are mainly set up as text message, but if you don't have a "Smart Phone", email can be used too.
*Contact the IRS and your state revenue department. They can tell you whether there are pending issues. If those don't make sense to you, it might require making appts with them to go over everything.
*Contact your computer virus/malware provider to check your PC.
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Reply to disgustedtoo

Your local Seniors or Aging organization would be a place to start asking questions. They maybe able to refer you to a social worker who can walk you through the things that need to be done.

You can also talk to your bank about the things you have noticed. Sadly as you first noticed irregularities quite some time ago, there will be limits on how much they can help you.

A computer repair place should be able to check over your computer for Malware and viruses. Some will send someone to your home, others will need you to bring your machine in for servicing. In my home town we have a great independent computer sales and service company that is highly recommended.
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Reply to Tothill

Pull a credit report and your tax transcript from irs website.
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Reply to Stacy0122

I think you need a lawyer for the inheritance thing. If nephew is an Executor he is suppose to carry out the wishes of his Mom. You could call Probate and tell them u have not received ur inheritance then go from there.

Call your Office of Aging and see if they have anyone who can help you straighten out the the Credit problem. Your bank should be able to help you with any bank irregularities.

I think it maybe time for you to find other living arrangements like an Assisted living. You would have a Nurse and aides. Three meals a day, entertainment and activities. Other people to talk to.
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Reply to JoAnn29

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