I am becoming physically unable to care for my dad. Advice?

Does Dad have any other income other than Social Security or a pension? Are they under the cap for Medicaid. My Mom had 20k in the bank. Her monthly income was $1700. In April I started the Medicaid application. May 1st I placed Mom in LTC and she paid May and June privately. June I confirmed I had supplied all info needed and Medicaid started July 1st. Its easier to get them in when they can pay privately.

I would not take out any loans. The reason being that if you do get Dad in a nursing facility with a loan and his house sells, Medicaid may not allow you to deduct the cost of the loan, especially if taken out in your name. I doubt if this Advisor knows all the ins and outs of Medicaid. I think you need to talk to a Medicaid caseworker. Dads house will need to be sold at Market Value. Actually, under Medicaid the house is an exempt asset. When I filed for Medicaid, within 90 days I to spend down any assets, get them the info needed and find a place for Mom. I got the impression that I just had to have a place lined up to take Mom the day Medicaid started. She didn't need to be placed before that. A question for a Medicaid caseworker.

I read up on Bridge loans. The interest is very high.

Do not do a bridge loan. They are intented for high risk borrowers and have very high interest.

If you live with your dad as his caregiver, you don't have to sell the house to place him. You do have to be able to pay the associated expenses, because he won't be able to contribute in anyway, as his money will go to his care.

I think what is being proposed to you is illegal. A care home that will do a bridge loan should be reported to the DHHS.

Go to a reputable NH and get a needs assessment done. Then you will be able to start the process of getting him on Medicaid in a Medicaid facility.

Yoor local counsil on aging should be able to help you.

Edit: if you don't live with dad, please see a certified elder law attorney to help you navigate selling the home, paying down and Medicaid. Because it gets complicated when you qualify for Medicaid, then get a large sum of money that disqualifies you. This isn't a DIY IMO, I still wouldn't do a bridge loan. That smells super fishy to me.

don't do a bridge loan. He can be place Medicaid pending without the house being sold. Medicaid will pay back to the date of application. when the house sells, the money from the sale will have to be used to for care. and to pay back Medicaid. If it hasn't sold, Medicaid will place lien on the house when he passes to recoup their money.

The most direct and immediate way to get help and relief is to call 911 and have the ambulance take him to the ER. Just make sure the call is at least somewhat warranted and don't fear embellishing the story a bit. Once there you need to be clear with the social worker that you are incapable of and unable to provide 24 hour care anymore. You have health issues and other responsibilities and your father would be at risk at home. You then implore them to find a facility. That is how the people who are Medicaid pending are placed. The other option is to call a state social worker (APS) and tell them your father is vulnerable as you are not able to provide all the care he needs anymore. Maybe they can come up with a solution to have help come in when you can't be there. Possibly there is a program out there that provides free help. (And please be firm in your conviction and be fully assured you are in no way neglecting him or abandoning him. You've done the best you can and can't do anymore and need help). If APS doesn't do anything then take him to the ER. Unless you are somehow able to call on a facility yourself and are able to have him admitted right away.

From you profile: "I am caring for my father Lynn, who is 69 years old, living in my home with age-related decline, alzheimer's / dementia, depression, heart disease, incontinence, and stroke."

You have now injured your back, and have migraines, arthritis, and daily stomach pains.

As sp19690 put it: "never ever put your back and health at risk to help a senior. Its not worth the life of agony you could potentially cause yourself."

ENOUGH IS ENOUGH.

In another post you said that your brother is playing games. What is his part in all of this? Did you get the tenants out of your father's house yet?

Others here will advise you how to get your father into placement much quicker than you were told by the senior advisor.

I would treat this situation like if you needed emergency respite care for Dad.

Get Dad into care asap - on some sort of move-in-now-pay-later deal.

Breathe.

Get the health info you need for treatment plans for your back & other health issues.

Then breathe again. Take the time you need to adjust to any dx you get. Take time to decide what's next: tests, physio, acupuncture, or whatever.

Keep visiting Dad. Both of you will need to adjust to the new normal.

I don't wish to be an alarmist, but I'd hate for you to wait too long. The danger is if you wait to move Dad until all the details are set (sell house etc) your back may get worse in that time 😔.

The big picture is the OP can't take care of the dad anymore it is physically impossible with their back injury and other serious and painful issues. They don't have months to get this taken care of. They need help today asap so what can they do? Surely someone here has an answer.

Adding as a caveat never ever put your back and health at risk to help a senior. Its not worth the life of agony you could potentially cause yourself.

Also what is dad doing to help OP regarding this? Are they just expecting them to take care of it all?

Rcvela, is the senior advisor employed directly by a facility?   And if so, I assume the bridge loan would be from that same facility?   I'd be cautious, very, very cautious of this and wouldn't get involved with a bridge loan (a) w/o review of ALL the documents by an attorney, preferably one with elder care and bridge loan specific background, and (b) until you've met with people from other homes to compare what might be offered by others. 

My own experience with loans that are comparable to bridge loans are construction loans, which are designed to provide funding through a construction phase, and are due in full at the end of the estimated construction period.  As has happened during construction recessions, the builder often cannot pay off the loan b/c he/she can't get permanent funding.   And the builder often is forced into bankruptcy.

This isn't the same as your situation, but I raise the issue so you can consider what happens down the line when the bridge loan matures and full payment is mandatory.

You would need to find out how long a period the bridge loan would cover, whether or not it's due in full at what specific period, and what the consequences would be if you can't get your father qualified.

If payment in full is dependent on selling your father's home, you need to consider Medicaid's potential involvement as well.  My knowledge of Medicaid is limited, but you'd need to also address the issue of whether Medicaid would back pay to cover any portion of the bridge loan.    Others here are much more knowledgeable on Medicaid issues though.

You don't want to be obligated, personally or otherwise, for paying off a loan w/o some definite guaranty that Medicaid will assist in paying for his care if he enters some type of care facility.

Talk to a facility about it. I think they are pretty flexible about the house being sold. They know they'll get the money eventually. If he has any money, they will want that until his balance is below $2500.