I can't get over my husband thinking he is in the stuff that is on TV programs. What stage is this?

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Started bad about a month ago. What stage is this, he also puts his water in boxes of tissues. Thinks he is making wet wipes? Puts his pills in his water. Hides his pills in the trash. I am overwhelmed.

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College, as was mentioned, nearly everyone here can understand your frustration and pain. In my opinion, stages are "guesses" at best anyway, because not everyone follows the same path with their dementia. There has to be some order, so stages have been assigned to behaviors, but people are so different.

For practical purposes, it's more about coping with the changes as they move forward. TV is out. I learned that early with my dad. News is horrible and he was back in the war every time the news came on. DVDs with music are great. Nature shows. Anything but TV. DVDs of favorite old TV shows are available, now,too and many can be streamed.

The pure logic of making wetwipes by putting water in tissues made me smile (in retrospect we can smile - at the time it's pretty tough). But there was logic to this in your husband's world. As has been said by the wise people on this site, you'll be having to change fast to keep up. I hope that you can find some way to receive respite. No one can live with this day in and day out without some reprieve and stay healthy.

Keep reading the responses on this thread and let us know how you are doing. Everyone has compassion to offer and you'll pick up a few tips along the way.
Take care,
Carol
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I would be overwhelmed, too. Anyone would.

In my opinion, you are at the dyke-plugging stage...where you'll be likely to be for some time. His behavior becomes more bizarre? You adjust just as fast. And you begin picking your battles, if you aren't already.

Adapt...try to stay a step ahead...manipulate and cajole.

Of course, at least for the time being, you are taking over his meds...handing them to him with his wash-down of choice and standing there waiting for him to take them.

This site is great for bringing your challenges looking for solutions.

There's probably not a person on these boards that doesn't understand your pain.
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I don't know what stage this is, but my dad did the same thing. We could get him all comfy watching Walker TX Ranger or Bonanza,, and then suddenly one day he got 70 years younger as WAS Walker or Hoss. Now a friend of mine is going through this with her hubs. We moved dad onto Andy Griffin or game shows, her hubs is on JAG...LOL.. Good luck, and change the channel!
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Wow, Dianepod...I have NO clue how you could caregive for 20 years & then go on to be an Assisted Living Administrator. I've been Mom's sole caregiver for the past 5+ years & I'm also a licensed nurse. I'm SO burnt out that I honestly can't imagine returning to a nursing position once my caregiver role is over. Even the thought of it makes me want to cry. I just don't have the empathy any longer that nursing takes & very selfishly just want someone to take care of ME for once. You must be an extraordinarily strong woman to do what you did...and continue to do.
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The delusions and loss of cognitive function should be brought to the attention of a physician. Others (such as Babalou) are more familiar with the kinds of meds that are needed at this stage as well as the best type of physician to see (I believe it would be a neurologist) but don't have any expertise in this area.

But do get him to see an appropriate physician and get medication.

As to the delusions, even though they're upsetting, are they really causing any harm? One of the coping mechanisms is picking and choosing your actions. If it makes him feel good to think he's an actor, that might even help detract from the confusion about pills and Kleenex.
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College, are you really caring for your husband AND you mom? Lots on your plate!
Given how young your husband is, I would get him in for a complete physical and then a complete dementia workup. As it was explained to me, a real workup for dementia includes brain imaging (usually an mri) an evaluation by a neurologist ( who looks at balance, reasoning, memory and the functioning of the nervous system), and paper and pencil testing by a neuropsychologist. That person delves deeper into memory, executive functioning, memory, sequencing, reasoning, problem solving, reality testing.

So, as an example, my mom's long term memory is pretty good, and she knows us. Left on her own, she would put on her coat before underwear. She misinterpret what she sees ( if a man in a suit walks by, the nh is being sold; if she sees a spill on the floor, the pipes have all broken and place is going to heck in a handbasket).

If your husband hasn't been worked up, please try to do so. If you have a rehab hospital that is affiliated with a med school, they often have the staff to do this. Otherwise, find a hospital with a geriatrics department.

But you want to get him checked out by his pcp first to make sure this is not a uti or something easily treated.
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College, TV can be a tough one. It's often a good "babysitter" to keep them occupied while you try to accomplish something else...but it can be a curse when they get to the point that you describe. My mother is there now & simply changing the channel isn't a guarantee, nor is finding innocent old programs like Andy Griffith or I Love Lucy. Mom was all twisted up in knots the other morning watching Leave It to Beaver. Can't get much more innocent than that! But she thought what was happening to Beaver was happening to her. He'd gotten into trouble for turning in a poorly written paper & had to do it over again. She was BENT because she had to redo her homework & didn't know where to start. Changed the channel to the 80's sitcom, Too Close For Comfort. Again, she thought what Muriel was doing was what she was doing & she got torqued again because she was afraid people wouldn't like her new hairdo & face lift! I knew changing channels again was not likely to do anything but change the scenario she was upset about so I asked her to walk out for the mail with me...for the 4th time that day! Sometimes their incredibly short & swiss-cheesed memory can actually be a blessing! I know there are some on this board that are completely against using meds to control behaviors but, in my case, using behavior modifying meds have permitted me to keep mom at home longer so I would definitely ask his doc at his next check-up to give some a try. You may have to try different ones or different combinations before you hit on the right mix so don't despair if they don't seem to help right away. It is worth the time & doc visits to get the right ones!
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Kudos to all of you! You haven't shot yourself out of anger or frustrating situations.
I was my Mom's caregiver for the 20 years she lived with us.
As long as they can manage their ADLs it's easier - sort of.
But the advice to pick your battles is important. As long as the statement or behavior isn't dangerous or harmful, take a deep breath and ask yourself if it's worth fighting over.
I found the safest channel for TV was DogTV. All sorts of animals, lots of puppies and all to gentle backround music. It worked for hours. During the last two years of Moms life, she passed away last February, I became an Assisted Living Administrator. Now I teach classes to help people better understand and also be more prepared for their future instead of waiting for calamari then trying to react.
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Pamz, that is so wonderful. If he can do that until he is bedridden, I will be very happy. My Mother can still wipe her bottom too. Other wise I would have it a lot rougher. I have to help Joe find the bathroom already, but I can do that. My Mother will try to take one step now since I got the lift, she hate it. Yay! My back is very tired but I can deal with stuff so far. I pray a lot! Then I don't lose my temper. The spoiled brat in me keeps trying to surface! I am an only child and never once thought I would be doing this! If they try it goes a long way in my book. They always thank me for what I do. That makes me feel better! If you all can do this I can too! I love them both so much! Joe likes to play with our Grand children, twin boys four years. But at times he gets hateful and wants all of the toys???????? They just laugh at him so far!
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OzarkOlly: I'm far from a super anything. I do have an angel of a husband. A close friend finally got through to me the importance me keeping my sanity and dealing with the anger I felt. Respit care became a life saver, both at home and for several days at an assisted living community. It was hard dealing with the guilt I felt.
But I had so many people asking how did I know what to do. That inspired me to design an 8 week class (once a week for two hours) with the last 3 being tours of 3 different styles of communities.
I retead my earlier text and saw my spell checker converted calamity to calamari. Funny. 😊
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