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How do I make my sister realize that what she's doing to my mom is wrong. I have researched this condition and it states that mom should be in the least restrictive environment and no one is to take or trick or benefit from her assets. She has convinced APS that I am getting mom upset when it's her. This is the last stage of moms life and we all should be helping with her care. Instead she threatens mom and tells her to keep her mouth shut. She should be locked up for what her and her daughter Denielle are doing to my mom. We all have messed up in the past and paid the price but June and Denielle never have. I filed for guardianship but doubt it'll be granted because of a prior felony. She needs to be in a group home and a payee. How do I get mom out of that house and into a safe place? June and Denielle should be ashamed.

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I agree with soulfulgirl and cothrangirl that you and your sisters should try to work together to care for your Mom. However - my primary concern is for your Mom's well-being. It sounds from what you say that she may be abused and that must stop. I wonder if calling a hospice center and relaying the problem to them would help. They may be able to give you some guidance or even pay a visit and make sure your Mom's getting good care.
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I agree with soulfulgirl, if you and your sister can manage to support each other and work together it would be good. My sister and I no longer speak and I have blocked her from my life. There were problems before Mom but when I took guardianship of Mom it was the straw that broke the camel's back and it caused much tension and hatred in the family. Never a good thing. So if possible put yourself in your sister's shoes, listen to both sides and work together.
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The worst thing that can happen, is you and your sisters do not support one another during this hard time and continue to argue. Both of you cannot fix nor alter this disease. No matter how much research you do and believe that you understand this disease, if you are not there to witness day to day the change after change and how difficult emotionally it is too watch the mother you love deteriorate. Its sad when they don't remember what they are eating, while they are eating. Believe it or not you and your sisters need each other, not in war, but in love and strength.
My mother, okay so she is safe in a home now, and yet she is staying in her room for the majority of the day, and they cannot force her to get up. I can cry I can be depressed I can live life with guilt, but I cannot save her, yet, I continue to struggle to try. I am sorry for your pain and hope you step in and walk along side of your sister not behind her and not so far ahead that you never get anywhere on the same foot. Good luck and hugs be with you.
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First off, are you absolutely sure your sister keeps her confined? Or does she choose to stay in her room? My Mom is 81 with Alzheimer's and will not leave her room at the care center. She then tells my sister that she is claustrophobic from being stuck in that little space, when in fact she is not "stuck" at all. She also told my sister that she had no idea what time and day it was because she did not have a clock or calendar. She took the calendar down because it was too "busy" with the activities listed on it and the clock she kept messing with it until it fell and broke. Both were replaced of course but for that day or so that she didn't have them she told my sister that she never had them. Just make sure that everything Mom is telling you is fact before getting yourself upset. My Mom's short term memory is now non-existent so she will tell my sister that she hasn't seen me in a long time, when in fact I may have just left 15 minutes before. Not Mom's fault at all, just be sure of your facts. Big Hugs to all of you.
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Make mom's life better, for heaven's sake. Stop fighting with your sister and start offering to help. Mom is 87 years old...not long for this world.

Your felony, combined with the fact that sister has mom, coupled with the fact that APS has opened an investigation and found nothing that warrants moving against your sister, all together tell me you I'll NEVER be granted guardianship. That ship has SO sailed.

Do something constructive to help mom if your relationship with your sister hasn't been destroyed. If it has and you can't see mom? Well...then I am very sorry for all of you.
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