Known him for 40 yrs never seen PTSD symptoms prior but now do- he’s depressed angry and when suggesting FaceTiming with his 11yr grandson who he is very close with dismisses it- once he said he’s afraid he will cry. I remarked what’s wrong with that, which of course I know why- he won’t reach out/ connect with people. However on the positive side he’s the cook in the family activity, still enjoys and does reach out to our neighbors to share especially a fellow vet who they use to go to VA for excercise classes 3xweek.

He did verbalize he not only missed the excercising he misses the socialization- our communication is now limited to texting one another to minimize the negative outbursts. I have limited patience as I am dealing with my own medical problems at this time - I am a trained caregiver who has cared for the elderly for yrs, have MSW degree worked in hospital setting , hospice private in home and facilities for yrs - but caring for your own spouse is quite different especially under our unknown world events. We have family in our town however we all have different opinions on dealing with PPE/social distancing and now with the reopening relaxing protocols our family’s circle has increased significantly causing us to ???? How to connect safely or not at all? I am 67 yrs but have serious underlying medical conditions - I am fully aware of my husband’s personality changes and why!!!

I feel we are on a rollercoaster ride - he hasn’t truly accepted the seriousness of the virus as he makes statements “I am immune" or when discussing mask protocols he answers he will wear only for me when asked. In addition he watches news 24/7 forcing me out of living space. Fortunately he has an ear piece he wears to hear better where I don’t have to listen but I don’t want to watch ongoing news. After texting him my concerns he has limited the tv use- another major problem is his significant hearing loss refuses hearing aides he received 5 yrs ago, has significantly become worse but he won’t admit he has a problem that it’s my problem!!!

His entire family immediate/extended even his young grandchildren are aware of this problem —- I have reached out to all of his 6 adult children who live all over the country to assist- “can’t teach an old man new tricks” comes to mind in addition to his very controlling personality- unfortunately due to the virus he is unable to fly to eldest daughter to live which I know would benefit him significantly that which he has threatened to do several times past month— I wonder if he has just given up and does not care if he lives or dies which in our environment today could happen, but my concern is I also live with him and want all protocols strictly enforced. So many variables I know all intertwined- but we live together staying at home in small condo, getting smaller everyday. My #1 concern is his isolation has exacerbated all other problems which can cause his premature death- which I am not too sure if that’s what he desires—?

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Nikki, I may have missed it in reading your post but didn't see the word dementia in there at all. If at all possible he needs a diagnosis, he may have depression, but at 84 it's most likely the beginnings of dementia. I agree that isolation isn't good for him but you can't force a person to have a social life they don't want. This happened with my MIL...I worked really hard to get her into a nice NH on Medicaid, only to have her withdraw completely and not take advantage of any of their wonderful activities and programs.
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