My mom is almost bedridden. She has a spinal disease, severe depression, and fusses constantly. I know she is upset that she can't do what she used to. I have always called her everyday and gone to see her once or twice a week since I had triplets a few years ago But, here is the problem. She is mad at me (again) and is now telling people what bad daughter I am (and my dad is bad, too - he is her primary caretaker). Things will be fine for maybe a week, and then something will happen. If I go and do something with a friend (which I don't do very much at all) or I come to town and don't stop to visit EVERY time (I live about 15 miles away), she gets her feelings hurt and lets me have it on the phone, if she will even answer. I can't go into every detail, but she is not being reasonable. My dad thinks the same thing. I have asked her to do things, but she usually says she doesn't feel like it, or I don't ask her because I know she will get mad and it will turn into a fight. She has let her appearance go - never used to be like this. She says people will understand. I feel guilty 90% of the time because I feel like a child being scolded. I am 44, have 3 young kids, work a full-time job that has gone very badly this year, fight depression (on meds), and deal with a selfish husband. I feel that my world is closing in on me. I have an appt. with a counselor (been to one before) to give me coping ideas, but all I want to do, now is sleep. My kids are suffering I know - my husband yells all the time. He is not supportive of me. I am on depression meds, too. I guess what I want to know is, am I a bad daughter? Should I visit everytime I go to town? Should I demand she go out with my kids and me every week? I can't take much more, mentally. She let me have it yesterday, while I was at work, telling me how she loved her mother and ALWAYS did things for her and went places with her. Please help. I need all the advice I can get. Could it be dementia?