I've read tons of contributions from people who become the caregiver by virtue of the fact that no other sibling is willing or able to do it. Mom has dual cancer (unrelated) and is quite sick right now. She has gone downhill quite rapidly even though her doctors talk of the cancers being 'stable' and there being treatments available. My dad died following a lengthy battle with cancer in 2015. We're a small family and it's just my sister and I. She lives about 20 mins from mom, I'm about 2 hours away. During dad's illness there was no sign of my sister and though I was working full-time and she wasn't, the caregiving fell to me. No-one forced me into it and I wouldn't do it any differently, but if I'm honest it did grate on me that she wasn't involved. Writing that down makes me sound awful I know - like being with dad was some kind of terrible chore. I just wished she would have given me a break here and there - but I know you can't force people to do something they're not willing to do! At the time mom was similarly unhappy with sister's involvement and encouraged me to talk to my sister about it but that ended with sister getting physical with me and it was not pretty. We've been cordial since but if I'm honest it still irks me. I'm human. So fast forward to mom. She really doesn't want to be a burden and always says she didn't have kids to have them look after her when she got old. Because I knew history would most likely repeat itself I took a break from work because I knew when things got rough for mom I couldn't hold down a job, making sure she was taken care of and a 2 hour commute either side. Sister is married with a small child and works part-time. Because she doesn't really get involved a whole lot it is like the Lord himself came down to visit mom every time my sister can manage to stop by for a half hour! Much like during dad's illness, it's starting to grate on me. And it came to an ugly head of sorts today....with mom. Sister managed to stop by yesterday and as soon as I arrived to the hospital today mom regaled me with tales of the visit and how tired my poor sister was today from stopping by to visit (for perspective I spent 6 hours in the ER with mom last night). I tried to keep perspective and (regrettably!) mentioned that there's two of us kids so it's nice she was able to visit. Well it was just a hoot from there on, mom telling me no-one is forcing me to help her, that she thought I was there because I wanted to be, that I'm not doing anything else anyway and that I could just go home if that's how I felt. So I said I would leave and then she launched at me how I was being horrible when she is so sick, how could I treat her like that, I've always been a moody so-and-so etc. etc. etc. I stayed polite and left the hospital. And now I don't know what to do. My sister could do more but chooses not to, and I have no excuse not to do everything (as I'm not working right now due to career break). Mom could have a day, she could have a month, a year. They don't know what's wrong this time or what the prognosis is, but she is a very sick woman. I need to try and work through this so it doesn't affect things with mom but I'm going crazy.