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I have been taking care of my mom for many years . My sister died suddenly age 49 of a heart attack in 2013.. I miss her so badly my grief is raw and deep , she was my best friend, how I loved her no words could express . Now it's mom and I , I work as a nurse then take care of mom full time , she has a caregiver when I'm working . I'm so afraid of losing her , she and my cat are all I have really ,once she goes I'll be lost and alone . My cat is getting old and won't be around in a few years , which means I won't have to worry about her being placed .i have a lot of friends but mom is my number one priority..she has alzehemiers and dementia , DVTs , frequent UTIs , and multiple comorbities ..she's 81 and askes if I hear from Geri my sister I try not to cry when I think about Geri's gone . Mom has moderate dementia and they started her on depakote which has helped her be less combative. Mom is my world and after she dies I will be a lost soul ..we have Been together so,long she and I are connected spiritually ...we both miss Geri and can't believe she's gone .have you ever heard of a caregiver dying after the person who they loved and cared for years died ? Thank you so much in advance

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ohmeowzer
You are not alone and for years it has been just me and mom too and I find it is better not to dwell on what the future may bring - thoughts are things and you don't want to bring what you fear upon you

I'm glad your mom is responding to the depakote and that for now you can keep her home - I wish I could have done the same but it was just so hard with my work demands and her refusal to allow caregivers let alone the unreliableness factor

At 93 1/2, it feels like I'm fighting an uphill battle to keep her going - private caregivers in her facility 12 hours a day and still she gets UTIs and falls

My grandmother has been gone for over 50 years but my mom now asks for her - I hope she and my aunts will be there to take mom's hand when the time comes
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I'm 57 and have multiple health problems since my sister died ..I also work as a RN clinical supervisor in a busy hospital...thank,you for your reply ... mom is 81 , I'm experiencing pre grief I think ...and still in deep grief over my sister ...
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ohmeowzer, I have heard of that. Usually it's the elderly that this happens to. I've heard of stories of couples who have been together 60, 70 years. One of them dies and the other follows shortly thereafter. Just recently, I'm sure you heard about Carrie Fisher dying and the next day her Mom died.

How old are you? I'm sure you are not much older than your forties or fifties. I am 55 and like you I thought that I would most likely die after my dear Mom died. But here I am two years later, alive and well. The human spirit is resilient. Even though I prayed to die before and after my Mom died, realistically I knew the good Lord knows that there are still those here on earth who need me. My Husband, my cats. Doesn't sound like much but I know they would grieve my loss horribly. The selfish part of me says "who cares, they'll survive without me" There are plenty of days where I wish I would contract cancer and die or get shot or what have you. But then I think, I might not even end up with my Mom when I die. I do believe in God and heaven but I'm not entirely convinced that when I die that I'll be beside my beloved Mom. The bible says that God has prepared a place for us who believe and that his home has many mansions and if it were not true he would not say it. Will I end up with my Mom. I pray so but I don't know so.

But yes, in answer to your question. I've heard of those stories. It would be nice to know that they are together again. We like to imagine that to be the case. Ohmeowzer, you might surprise yourself with your strength after your Mom leaves. I'm sure she would not want you to be thinking like this.
Try to hang in there. Come on here and talk to us when you are feeling low. God Bless!
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