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My 94yr old husband has had non-tremor Parkinson's for 12 years now. He cannot walk and uses a power scooter. We have aides until 10pm daily. However, the issue is that he is banging into walls and furniture with the scooter. When I tell him the scooter is not good for him anymore, he has threatened to cut me off financially, or at least alludes to it. We have a loving relationship otherwise, but this is not fair. Any ideas?

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Sort of freedom Vs what's reasonable. His freedom vs not wrecking walls.

I can see why your DH would be angry at the potential loss of his freedom. Threats about money said in anger - I'd ignore this. Is he able to discuss this with REASON when calm?

You mention scootering around the home & building?

What are the safety & risk levels?
Is he endangering himself?
Is there risk he would hit a person or pet?

If no, or very low risk, is it possible to improve safety further?
* Remove non-essential furniture
* Simplfy his pathway inside
* Have the aide accompany him of in a foyer, or other shared spaces. Obviously you can't move walls.. can you add foam padding or buffers to his scooter?

I have seen my LO make a few small bumps in their own home. I have begun to worry too. Especially if they visit a private building & dint that - they could be liable for an expensive damage bill.

Best of luck, it's another version of the Do I take the car keys away problem.
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If the scooter is battery operated (most are), loosen the cables off the battery so that it won't work.
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Sally047 Jun 3, 2025
That is what we did with my husband’s wheelchair and it worked great!
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I have to agree with the fact that he is alive, and probably really enjoys his scooter. Relationships are very fragile, all of them! Maybe he made a comment regarding funds, because he knows you are making a threat to take away his freedom. Respect each other, and remember all the happy years together. You do need to talk together about you paying bills one day when he may not be able to do them. I would hope the finances are equal between you both, not him controlling you. You need each other and money should not come between you at this point.
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Remove the furniture from his path. It’s just stuff. I wish my husband was alive to run into my furniture.
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the things he’s damaging are replaceable. Let him ride! He’s alive and apparently spunky, be thankful. You can get new furniture when he’s gone!
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I found a message you posted (it was not a Private Message but I think you meant it for me...) I'm going to post it here since you provide more information in it: "Thank you so much for trying to help me; starting a fund to repair the walls is a good idea, at least I'd know it will be done one day. I won't take the charger from the scooter; he uses it to take the elevator downstairs and get the mail each day (with his aide) and that's the only time he gets out, unless he has a doc appt. If the scooter is gone, then the aide has to transfer him more times, plus the wheelchair doesn't fit under the dinner table or his desk. There's always a problem trying to get the right chair and it may not be comfortable enough. I'm physically not able to keep shopping, returning, etc.; especially large items. Maybe I can get someone to assess the situation. I'm also going to speak to my banker about the threats, maybe they're just idle and can't be done legally anyway." You can (and should) hire out the tasks you no longer want to do or can do. You can order food online and have it delivered. You can hire a housekeeper; order large dry goods from Amazon (that's what I do). I just learned about my friend's friend whose husband suddenly passed away at 70. He had literally taken care of everything their whole marriage: worked, paid the bills, managed the money and house... she never worked a day or managed anything in their household. Now suddenly as a widow she is SO SO SO lost and overwhelmed. You need to get on top of your finances right now -- not just knowing whether your husband's threat to "cut you off" is real or not, but everything else! It's coming and you need to deal with it sooner rather than later. You can hire a bookkeeper, or go through a Dave Ramsey class online, among other things -- but don't do nothing. You don't have to tell your husband that you're on this learning curve... sounds like he may have some form of dementia related to his PD. The scooter wrecking the walls is not a priority. You must make your own self a priority because no one else is going to do that for you. I wish you success in being in the driver's seat.
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How exactly would he "cut you off"? Maybe tell him that if he tries that, you'll file for a divorce and will get half of everything plus he will lose his caregiver (you). Smile when you say it. Even if you don't mean it, it will be interesting to see how he reacts to it. FYI his threat doesn't sound very "loving"...
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If your husband can no longer walk, and you don't want him using his scooter anymore, how do you expect him to get around?
Are you willing to push him around in a wheelchair, and are you physically able to?
If not, perhaps take away some of the furniture(have it put in the garage or a storage unit) so he has more of an open space to drive around in.
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Has your husband been tested for dementia ?
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