How do I persuade someone that they need help?


my older brother is increasingly forgetful, including about taking care of himself. How can he be persuaded to allow a caretaker to help him manage?

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Often people stay in denial about needing help until something frightening happens, such as a bad fall or disabling illness. You can try to see if one of your brother's friends can talk him into seeing a doctor. Sometimes non-family members can get farther because it's not as hard on the pride as having a sister or adult child make the suggestion. Think hard if there is someone who could talk with him.

However, you may have to simply wait it out. I hope you don't have to wait for anything serious to happen. Make it clear that you are there to help whenever he wants you and don't be too hard on yourself if he does have problems.

If his situation gets too bad, you could see if social services can force him into taking some action, but that isn't likely until things get worse.

Take care,
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Unfortunately, the advice is right on, even Mom's doctor told us that. Sometimes you simply have to wait it out, and hold your breath that what happens is not too serious. We are going through that with Mom and there is just no way we can convince her she needs to move to assisted living. She is physically pretty good but frail, unsteady, deaf as a post, anorexic, obsessed with laxatives, confused and has a five minute memory. She can't do anything for herself, we do it all, but she still refuses. We pray that that "something", which inevitably will happen, won't be crippling or fatal but it is out of our hands because she is so stubborn.
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