Follow
Share

This is my father's first cousin. She has no children. All of husbands have passed on. The only member left living is my aunt. She is 85 years old, My second cousin is 98 years old. Currently, I am the only one who has taken on the responsibility of caring for her in her home. My aunts daughter decided to have her placed in a private living assisted home. My second cousin had a little fall in her house. The paramedics were called and they checked her out. She had a little bruise on her leg. They asked if she wanted to go to the hospital. She said "No she was alright". The next day a busybody friend decided to call her and tells her she needs to go to the hospital. I had set up an appointment for her to see her primary care dr. later that day. I asked my cousin what did she want to do? She said "her friend said that she should go NOW'. The paramedics were called again. My cousin was admitted to the hospital for test for one day. The next day she was told she could go home. She has an overacted thyroid. That is it. No other problems. follow up with an a specialist. Well my cousin, my aunts daughter decided she should go into a 30 day rehab. When all my second cousin need was to follow up with a doctor. When the 30 days were up. My cousin decided she wants our second cousin to go to an assisted living private house at the tune of $2,000.00 a month. This all came out of my second cousin checking account. After 1 year my second cousin's money was deleted. That was $24,000.00 for 1 year. The state didn't get couldn't help. My second cousin owns her home. Well I had to write a letter, giving the assisted home a 30 day notice, that my second would not longer be able to stay. Her money was gone. When I saw the contract. My second cousin her signed her name. If I had known that, she could have been home.When she called me the next day she asked that I come and get her out of that place. I thought that my cousin had signed papers to have her placed there. I so was angry and upset with cousin. We went to get my second cousin out of that place. The owner called the police on me and my husband. The owner ranted and raved like a mad woman. The police asked did she have a court ordered paper stating that my second cousin has to be there. She had no court order papers, just my second cousin signature on the contract. The police went into the bedroom that my second cousin was sleeping in, asked did she know me and did she want to go home? My second cousin said that she knew me and she wanted to go home. My second cousin came is home now. It is two and half years later. I was told by my family that I would get help taking care of her. It was only me and my daughter who has MS trying to take care of my cousin. Well my son also has MS and he is bed ridden. It is hard for me to take care of my second cousin , her house and my son. I still don't have the support of my family on this situation. My cousin I have given her until Dec.31, 2013 to let I know I will be no longer taking care of our second cousin. Well she is asking me what places are available. I told her I don't know. Do the research herself. She has all of the bright ideas. How do I start to find the help for my second cousin? I know my cousin isn't going to help me with situation. I need help on how to go about finding someone to help me with this. Any help to me move in the right direction.

body friend called her and told she needs to go to the hospital.
she was in assisted living private home. My aunt's daughter decided to

This question has been closed for answers. Ask a New Question.
This is all pretty confusing. Does anyone have the power of attorney for your dad's first cousin. (by the way, your dad's first cousin is your first cousin once removed.) Someone should have legal responsibility for a 98-year-old woman.

The fact that she owns a home would mean that it can be sold so that the poor woman has money to provide her with assisted living financing. Once all of her resources are used up, she will be able to apply for Medicaid.

Someone needs to take charge of the woman's life for her and to help her find a suitable solution for a place to live and to have constant care. You are obviously not a good candidate, since you have two children suffering from MS. Can you get your cousin to make the arrangements to sell the house and find a suitable living arrangements for your dad's cousin? As she approaches a century of living, your dad's cousin deserves to live in a quiet surrounding where her relatives can visit her and help make her final years comfortable. God bless you for caring.
Helpful Answer (1)
Report

My goodness! First of all, I see that you posted this question two days ago and no one has rung in thus far. Truthfully, this is probably because the situation seems so overwhelming and convoluted with the aunt & second cousin issues all tied together and hard to follow. But, if I understand what you are saying, you have become responsible for a 2nd cousin at the very least and are in need of guidance to help you become independent of this responsibility. My first suggestion would be to discuss the matter with her primary physician for any input he/she may be able to provide regarding the need for medical intervention. Dr's often have resources they can direct you to in dealing with very difficult circumstances of this nature. Also, does your aunt have an attorney or do you have access to an elder care attorney who may be able to provide you with additional information in this regard? Lastly, the department on aging in your state should be able to give you some good direction, particularly if you can describe the circumstances you have found yourself in. Please take care of yourself while working through this...as all of us on this site know, caregiving in any setting is extremely taxing and stressful, from both a physical and emotional standpoint. Good luck and please keep us posted on any progress......
Helpful Answer (1)
Report

This question has been closed for answers. Ask a New Question.