We have been caregivers to my parents now for just under 4 years,never in my wildest dreams did I think it would be this way,Its like a roller coaster ride that keeps changing directions just when ever it feels like it, and it is so daunting,I just want it all to stop,and us get some resemblance of a life back,
we used to have a life, our life,and it has all been taken away by my parents and I resent them so much I cannot think or say anything good or nice about then,other than they have ruined our life,
our home is the other side of the world,we left that to come here in the UK to care for parents who never ever gave any thought to the fact that their only daughter lived the other side of the world for most of her life,my only sibbling died many years ago so it was always known I was the one it would all end up with,Before we even got to this stage we,d asked them to come live with us offering to sell our home take care of them,they were in their 80 then ,but no my dad would say I would,nt live in that place if you paid me a million pounds,well that place was/is our home,I left this country over 40 years ago,we had a good life with a lovely home friends ,jobs,we gave all that up because there was no one else to do what needed to be done,
we had a lovely dog she was our baby,she was 15 years old, anyone who loves dogs would understand how it felt to have to put this beautifull dog to sleep because my parents never ever gave any thought as to what they could do about there old age and how they would be taken care of,
Now our life revolves around incontinence,doctors,pityfull phone calls,my dad died last year 93 ,alziemers,my mother is 89 with vascular dememtia,and I just want it all to end I want my mother to die,so we can have our life back,I have no time for my mother I do not want to ever be alone with her,I cannot handle just being with her or having to take her any where.I am so tired of it all, I go to bed each night and lay there trying to get to sleep,I wake every morning to a mind racing,worrying,what will the day be like,am I still here,
Anyone going through caring for parents deserves a medal and all the love and support,
I feel so much for the people who post on this site,in some ways it helps because it helps me see I am not the only one, i do not want pity,I just want to be me again,and I worry that that will never happen.
Thank you mum and dad for ruining our life