Hi everyone, and Happy Holidays to all!
After what has seemed as the most horrific year in my life, having taken care of not one, but two 94 yr olds in my house, who let’s not put past them- the fact the have hated me my entire life- I’m finding reasons to end the yr in a positive note.
For the past yr I’ve had my parents in my house, heard nothing but complaints, nasty remarks, hideous faces, and very little chance of setting the motors in reverse to go back to MyLife. I gave up, like ALL of you, your freedom, your independence, YOURSELF, to become a recipient of negativeness with no light at the end of the tunnel.
I'm exhausted, I’m sad, I am angry, I’m lost. But..above all- angry- because I do not find any joy in what I’m doing.
The “words of wisdom from others which sound like..” God will reward you in heaven”, are generated by those who have absolutely NO clue as to what we my friends are facing.
Yet, tonight I want to say to myself this was my choice, and my choice only. I could have left these two heartless, abusive people to rot somewhere, and wait for the phone call telling they were gone. But no!!!, instead I chose to do this. And..I take full responsibility for all the tears down my cheeks inumerous times of the day; for all the migraines, for all the body aches, for all the anxiety attacks and all to come.
So, what keeps me going?
Its all of you! YOU are sharing the same pain, the same anguish day in and out- and though we all voice out our sorrow, we seem to wake up the next day- and do it all again.
I Salute all of you for sharing with me your thoughts in this webpage- it’s been Godsend.
I can only but Thank You for having a kind heart and the willingness to share with all.
May this year end with a positive note for all- may you all be blessed.
This forum IS a Godsend, I agree. There have been many, many times I've felt at the end of my rope with the endless BS my mother dishes out, and I've been able to come here & vent. And laugh, too, and read others' stories, comment, and feel like I'm giving them a part of MY story to offer hope. Which is what you are doing with your lovely post here.
I've been able, for the most part, to ignore the 'God will reward you in heaven' remarks from the fabulously clueless, but sometimes feel compelled to leave a snotty retort right back at them. We need help NOW, most of us, not after we're dead!!!
God bless you for all you do and for writing such a heartfelt post for all of us to enjoy. Wishing you a wonderful end to a hideous year, and all the best of positivity moving forward.
May you be blessed too!
2020 has been a nightmare--and had we known how crazy it was going to be--I don't know how many of us would have been able to deal with it. The rolling quarantines from grandkids, a WFH hubby who is either asleep all day or working 20 hrs...his mood swings and trying to deal with our 90 yo mothers. I stepped out of MIL's care 100% and NOTHING will make me go back. My own mom is just batty as all get out and thoughtless in her comments and as I was recovering from cancer all year---I was pretty tender and sad a lot. It didn't help to go visit her and have her tell me how awful I look.
I got word today that I will 'probably' be one of the 2nd wave of vaccine recipients, and DH will be also, as he is super-super high risk. I think once I can get out of here and not live in this weird Orwellian nightmare, I'll feel better.
Caring for parents who are toxic--poor DH is on the outs, big time, with his mom. He feels sick about it, but she told him to go to h3ll and never darken her door again. So, he has decided to cut her out of his life. So sad.
We just look at MIL as a cautionary tale and feel sorry for her.
And I agree--this site has provided me an out to vent and talk and have no fear of being judged (most of the time!)
Good Luck to you--and to all of us!
Thank you. Blessings.
I appreciate you taking time to reply, and wish You nothing but good wishes and lots of love.
thank you.
May your burden be lifted off your shoulders soon.
As for ending the year on a positive note, I do have to give that some thought. Not sure what I will do for myself to cheer me up yet. Maybe do take-outs one whole day or one whole weekend so no cooking or dirtying dishes, and I can sleep in or take a nap. To me, that is a treat.
That's why we're here: to support each other. Sometimes we just need to vent. To pound our fists. Other times we need practical advice and encouragement to keep on keeping on through impossible situations. Wishing each and everyone a better 2021!