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She has been withholding vital info regarding her daily life, habits and emotional/mental state that keeps her from getting the help she needs.
Now, she has the flu. We're going to the Dr. tomorrow to take care of it.
Well, I did it. I just called and described these things to the nurse, IN CONFIDENCE, I hope. Now- If she finds out I did this, it could be catastrophic to our relationship. I'm risking that because she absolutely needs help- these things are beyond my skills as a loving, but only slightly informed, and completely unprepared daughter of an MS patient.
God, I hope I did the right thing. I've been in home care taker for 6 months and things are progressively getting worse. Tried every thing I know to do. Why do I feel guilty?

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You feel guilty because your mother wanted to stay in denial and avoid being embarrassed by reality, and you knew it but you went and ratted her out anyway. Right? No no no no NO. And no. YOU did what needed to be done because you love her; as a matter of fact you love her very, very much, even enough to risk her wrath and upset and everything she is going to blame you for, as if shooting the messenger was ever a solution. First tell yourself that. Then practice telling mom that you love her and you can not stand to see her keep suffering and going downhill and being afraid to tell what was really going on even though it is in no way her fault, and sure, maybe she did not want to be a burden or bother the doctor, but she is WORTH IT and her problems are worth the attention she really needs for them. I hope it goes well. Doing the right thing is not always easy, but it IS right.
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I've done that for my mom too - no guilt here! A doctor needs the full picture to diagnose and treat properly. If your mom won't give it to him/her on her own, you need to step in. When I've been with my mom, she puts on a performance and says everything is fine and I have to step in and say, "Uhhh, no they're not, mom, and describe what's really going on. Your mom may not like it, but you're trying to HELP her. Good luck and let us know how it goes!
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Sharing information that will help a medical professional correctly assess your mother's condition is only helping her, especially when she has MS. If you wrote it on Facebook, THAT would be betrayal!

You took the right steps to help your mother.

I've done that when necessary and am glad that I did so that issues could be resolved without my father having to raise an issue which might embarrass him.
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You did her a favor. MD's are very frustrated by patients who just say they are fine. So go with her to the doctor's office and let her do the talking. Stand so you are behind her, but facing the doctor. When she tells a fib, just shake your head NO and the MD will pickup the clue. Get her to sign a Health Care Proxy so he can talk to you, that's standard procedure.
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