Mother in law has dementia declining rapidly. I care for her during the week, 4 days. Neither one of my in laws work. They expect me to do everything. They are so unworthy to take care of her. Only do what they feel fit. Can't sit back and watch this happen. My brother in law has POA. He keeps up on all financial parts but does not know to truly care for her. That's why I Am there. I live 30 miles away no other family offers help. My sister in law is schizophrenic/affective. She has been removed a few times from the house because of her behavior. But has been allowed to return. She is 48 years old.

She does not understand mom's diagnosis. She is very mean sometimes with her. She has been spoiled all her life, now mom's health is failing and she is acting very selfish.

She butts heads with me alot. When I try to explain that mom does not know what she is doing sometimes. She flips out. Brother in law has POA over her to wondering house is so quiet when she is not there. Mom is more settled. Wish we could have her placed in a facility till we can have mom placed in nursing home. Probably take an ER visit to do that. I'm at my wits end. With this. I'm really concerned about her safety when I'm not there. (Thank you for letting me vent)

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Just wondering, if SIL is taken out of the home again, can ur husband or BIL call APS and tell them that there is a vulnerable Dementia person who should not have a mentally ill person in her home. That MIL is much better when daughter not around.

Really, you do not know what SIL is capable of. I know they claim people with this mental illness are OK but if there is paranoia involved, daughter could think Mom was going to hurt her a retaliate. We had a patient who put his hand on a electric burner that was on.
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I would have an "informative" (and not emotional or accusatory) discussion with your BIL w/PoA (and your husband?). Outline the concerns and make suggestions on how to solve the concerns.

For example: Mom does so much better when she is in a controlled, predictable environment. I'm starting to wear out caring for her. and soon she will need more care than any 1 family member can provide. Maybe we should do a little research into reputable, local facilities (near the bro with PoA). She can go in on private pay and then she can apply for Medicaid when her funds run out. The facility is required to keep her if they have Medicaid beds. She will have more social exposure and activities there. Then, Marski, you will need to back away and let those with legal authority come to a decision. But longer you keep rescuing them with your "help" the longer the situation may stay the same. It's not easy to stand back and watch a train wreck, but may be necessary. Good luck!
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Where is your husband during all this? I understand he may not be around to help--but this is HIS mother.

I think you are an angel to take on this care with all the swirling emotions---and yes, it might take an ER visit to get her 'in the system'.

Just curious about DH. If he is around, he should be the one dealing with the crazy sibs.
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