As usual over these 4 years I come here for your experience. We’re in California, mom is 91 now. I took over as 24/7 caregiver 4 years ago & I hired caregivers to give me days off during the week. Covid hit & I let all caregivers go last March. I've got my own health conditions & mom has become more than I can physically or mentally do. To pay for the caregivers I took out a reverse mortgage. I’ll be seeing an elder care atty with Medicaid specialty to navigate that part. Wondering though how to actually place mom? Will I need her doctor to admit her or do I just call the homes I'm looking at? Should I wait until after lawyer appt to call around? She has dementia, so is it up to me to require a memory care? It’s very hard to do this during Covid but here 90% of care homes have received the vaccine & I'm not having luck getting it for her, wonder if they’ll require that too. I am POA both financial & medical & successor trustee.

Find Care & Housing
Hi grateful for this site, more than you’ll ever know. Just having a place to turn to & someone always help me with seeing steps instead of miles. I hit a road block on placing mom. She’s got kaiser & apparently if it’s not a kaiser facility then I need to private pay until October when it’s open enrollment. That’s what I understood from the 3 facilities I called. They were all between 275-350 a day. I then called member services & they will snail mail me a list of providers but it all starts with her primary. Also seemed they said she had 100% for 100 days & then 0. Seem possible? Anyone familiar with Southern California kaiser? Think waiting for open enrollment will fly, or might there be a waiting period. Appreciate any thoughts
Helpful Answer (0)
Reply to Momshelp
JulesNeedsHelp Feb 4, 2021
Have you made any progress? Where in So. California Kaiser are you? Are you going to private pay, or can she qualify for Medicaid ?
I am new to forum mostly, but have read it everyday for years as it gives me comfort to hear other stories similar to mine. My mom Is So. Calif. Kaiser and I am trying to navigate similar situation and am finding out quite a bit the last 7 days. (Lots of questions I am going to have for forum also, and an update) but, I would love to pay it forward if I can.
Thanks for great advice, I’m going to start with phone calls to 3 places in my area. I know families who recently, well 3-5 yrs ago used them. I went to the Alzheimer’s site & they have a list of questions to ask. I will update when things start moving.
Helpful Answer (1)
Reply to Momshelp

Trust me, 90% of the nursing homes in California have not had the vaccine. My mother's place hasn't, and they still have no word on when they'll get it. We're in Orange County.

As far as placing her, contact the senior services department in your mom's town, or contact That's who I used for my mother, and they found the exact perfect memory care for her. We're private pay, though, so I don't know if works with Medicaid placements.
Helpful Answer (1)
Reply to MJ1929

Places vary enormously. I would get together a list of your Mom's assets and then use one of the many agencies that take you around (your Mom as well if she is able) to places. They are paid by the place itself. Tours are often virtual now with you speaking with a representative. That's due to Covid. RealyReal has excellent advice regarding getting the vaccine, and TB, medical workup and etc.
My brother found one of these agencies invaluable when he placed his ex-partner with the help of that man's fiduciary. He became so fond of the woman who took them around and could explain his partner's needs so well. For instance, he needed a locked facility, but not necessarily memory unit. He had a propensity for walking out for alcohol if not in locked unit, but was otherwise safe without memory care. So the places have such a variety of accommodations and costs.
Wishing you the very best of luck. Hope you will tell us what worked for you.
Helpful Answer (2)
Reply to AlvaDeer

My dad received a needs assessment while in rehab to determine the level of care he needed.

I would start calling around and find out what you will need for admission.

I believe that you will need a current TB test with negative results and possibly a covid vaccine. I just don't know if they are requiring that vaccine. I know that my dad could have a flu and pneumonia vaccine or not, his choice.

Make notes and ask lots of questions, if they are impatient with you it is a red flag for sure. Learn from every call what they need and then use that to get a list of questions for the attorney. Like what do you need to do legally to stop mom from leaving the facility.

Best of luck getting her the best care for her needs.
Helpful Answer (2)
Reply to Isthisrealyreal

My mother’s Memory Care came out and did an assessment.
In order for my mother to move in, her doc just needed to fill out a form.
My mother needed MC because of dementia and because she had extreme terror of being alone.
Helpful Answer (2)
Reply to cxmoody

Ask a Question
Subscribe to
Our Newsletter