Hello Everyone,

I just wonder where I can locate support locally in Massachusetts for myself.

My only living parent is living in Florida with my sister and her new husband. They control everything in the house and play mind games with my mother like hiding her ipad from her and then telling her lies that they do not know its whereabouts. This stresses her out and is downright abusive. Mom enables her behaviour because she fears sisters wrath which is in essence throwing tantrums and threats of abandoning my mother. My sister is in her 40s drinks every day and is for the most part anti-social i.e. no friends period. She tried to control me however when I called her out it there was no room for logical diplomacy from her.

I live in MA by choice because of personal reasons I dont want to live in FL. I chose MA because I'm a few hours flight from FL.

That set aside I need to find a group of people I can perhaps gain some insight on how to deal with the matter at hand and get some sort of help with my ongoing depression. My moms a few years short of her 80th birthday and really not happy nor seems to be able to fight my siblings behavior(Ive spoken about seeking legal counsel its gone nowhere). And I found out recently mom gave the POA(power of attourney) to my sister which makes it more complicated.

You see I wouldnt mind this but its gotten to the point I cannot visit the house because my sisters threat to have me arrested (I do not have a criminal record mind you). Her husband is a parasite who wanted in on the house title when mom purchased it years ago, he does not pay rent!

Sorry for the long post. I just need to find some guidance as I just turned 50 and its really been psychologically taxing on my mental state knowing mom is become a victim of her own doing and I can do nothing.

If your mom enables your sisters behavior don’t even bother to call APS ( adult protective services) because they won’t do anything. I’m in R.I. & am in basically the same situation as you.

Brother will not let me see mom who has dementia & has had her sign papers to change her POA & trust papers to benefit him. I contacted APS repeatedly but when they check on mom she tells them sibling is taking good care of her. All they are concerned with is that she is safe & nothing more.

My brother repeatedly called the police on me if I try to call mom or visit her saying I’m harassing her.......they say it’s a civil matter get a lawyer.

I hope you find a solution to your far I haven’t.
Helpful Answer (0)
Reply to Jada824

APS is the abbreviation for Adult Protective Services. If someone suspects the abuse of an adult, the person can call APS in their county. APS will investigate and if necessary, remove the abused or neglected adult from the home. They also offer caseworkers who will help these people explore options and aid available to them.

It honestly sounds like there is a lot going on here. I’m afraid I agree with your sister about your “snooping” in their private quarters. But, if she is, in fact, tormenting your mother by hiding her things, you may need to get an attorney on board to make certain what you is legal.
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Reply to Ahmijoy

Thanks for the reply. Really appreciate the effort.

Im 2 hours + plane flight from her. I was living on the westcoast but that was much too far so I recently relocated.
Ok to set the record straight I was living with mom, sister, then boyfriend so my testimony here is factual first hand experience. Ive witnessed my sister's tirade and its one of the reasons I cannot visit or be around her, unlike her husband I will not tolerate that behavior. She my sister needs to be seen by a psychiatrist and when moms brought that up she sister refuses to admit her issues. She used to be on mood stabalizing medications of which is went cold turkey..
I think mom has the early stanges of short term memory loss. Things she doesnt remember from the prior days conversation etc.BUT I know having lived in the house when the ipad went missing I found it in sisters closet. She and her husband lied to both me and mom and then the arguement broke out as to why I snooped in their private space....its a loosing battle I cant seem to get a grip on.
Im not 100% sure on the dimentia but the last civil conversation I had with my sister was that she mom got lost driving to an appointment down the street from the house.
I would like to have her move up here but I need financial stability first. I am seeking employment currently once thats in place well I can move forward.
What is APS? I am all new to this!
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Reply to greg69

Can I ask, if you are hours away from your family, how do you know all this is going on? Does your mother suffer from dementia? If so, could she be having delusions of your sister hiding things from her? Paranoia is one of the hallmarks of dementia. Does your mother tell you that she cannot confront your sister because she will throw tantrums or have you actually witnessed one of these tantrums? If you knownfor absolute certain (like you’ve actually heard her) that your sister is verbally abusing your mother, call APS in her county in Florida. If your mother has dementia and your sister coerced her into giving her POA, that is taking advantage of an impaired Senior and she can be prosecuted for it, the POA being worthless.

What are your options? Can Mom come to live with you? Can you get Mom into a facility?
Helpful Answer (3)
Reply to Ahmijoy

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