How to address with mom's bank that youngest sibling gained and has ongoing access, and has done this without mom's permission and no POA?

Absolutely an attorney should be involved! Your sister is stealing from. Om and has stolen in the past. It’s amazing to me that the bank would cooperate and just hand over Mom’s money without prior authorization and also calling you. Taking Mom’s wallet contents is theft. She could be prosecuted. Call an attorney tomorrow morning.

AND, transfer all of Mom's assets to a different account. This should have been done immediately. Have all social security, pension checks etc rerouted to the new account.

BOA is a difficult bank with which to deal. I'm surprised they would allow access to someone who doesn't have legal authority.

Can you verify this with BOA? Be prepared for a run-around though.

There is a possibility she holds accounts jointly with your mother.

I don't really understand what you are asking.

Your mother has dementia. You confidently state that you have power of attorney for her. You have been her main caregiver for five years.

And you don't know what's going on with her bank accounts?

Why the heck not?

You are *responsible* for safeguarding your mother's finances. If you were aware five years ago that your sister had access to these accounts, what the heck have you been doing since?

Is it that you don't really understand what you're supposed to be doing? Start by taking your POA documents to your mother's bank and asking for their help with revising what has been going on with her accounts. I would expect them to be happy to assist you. I hope, for your sake as much as hers, that your sister has not in fact been doing anything untoward or inadvisable with your mother's money.

Don't you even have statements you can check?

Actually, rereading...

Is the problem that your sister is receiving copy bank statements and, quite to the contrary, has made casual statements about you misusing the money?

I hope that you have documented all the spending.

Hi redroseman:

I think it would be best to have an eldercare attorney involved.

However, this will involve a lot of legal scrutiny so please ensure that you are indeed doing everything in the best interest of your mother only.

The eldercare attorney also may suggest that you use your mother's money for a care home, rather than you being her sole caregiver.

Also be wary of making accusations that you can not prove, whether true or not. For example you claim you sister stole money.....do you have proof?

If not making such a claim without proof may backfire on you, in the end. I have seen this happen. Without proof it is difficult to know who is telling the truth.

Also, do not isolate your mother from your siblings because this may also backfire on you.

Involve your sibling or siblings in all decisions pertaining to your mother and document this.

If you do not involve your siblings, there could be a case made against you for isolating your mother as a way to gain undue influence and access her money.

I am not saying you are doing this, but it does happen. Isolating an elderly person and being the sole decision maker in her care when there are siblings, can be deemed as suspicious.

So, IMO, it is best to derail any air of impropriety by sharing financial information and medical decisions pertaining to your mother with your siblings.

I talked to my local B of A office manager - she told me that in order to have what they considered a valid POA, it was absolutely necessary for me to come in and go through THEIR process - that is the POA they would recognize, not any other (I assume a court ordered arrangement would be honored). I heard that people who have a valid financial POA are turned away if it was not done by B of A, with their process and paperwork. They want to "cover their ass" and frankly I'm surprised that they would let your sister have access unless the accounts have her name on them as well. Or she has worked out some tricky, fraudulent way into them. Since you are POA, do you check Mom's bank statements regularly - have you noticed money missing? By the way, there is no problem with your having a caregiver contract that pays you for specific services rendered.

If her access to the accounts is online, change your passwords ASAP

Thanks Pam!! The online banking thing is useful but may be too easy to game.

Redroseman:

If it is your mother's bank account, your sister could have signing privileges on the account.

 This means she has permission to write and cash checks or withdraw money from the account, without being arrested. Your mother has to set up the account that way. Your sister can not. 

A signing privilege, is not the same as a joint bank account.

Also, I think, as another poster already mentioned, it is a good idea to change any online passwords. Even if you did not give her the password, she may have found it somewhere, or guessed it.

If you have a valid financial POA, drawn up by an attorney, the bank has to honor it, once you provide proof.

They do NOT have to honor a POD (paid on death) or TOD (transferred on death) transferred from another financial institution. They will want the account holder to sign their banks POD or TOD.