I drive my parents to the doctor a lot and so I am stuck in the car with long commutes. Some of the time these times are pleasant. Some of these times when making conversation they become argumentative about what they thought they saw on the news and when I try to tell them what the news really said they do not believe me and I wind up so mad I am beginning to have chest pain. The only thing I know to do is tell them I am not discussing any news or politics with them because it leads to arguments, however you must also know that this is all they do all day is watch the news so that's all they know to talk about. So if this is the way to handle it I will be faced with long quiet commutes but it would be better than getting into an argument with them, which I do not enjoy at all. Any ideas?
What is the safety issue concern?
I'm actually not joking. You can meet your parents at their doctor's office. Better than arriving there fit to be tied and then having to focus on important information.
The thing is, no matter how politely and reasonably and tactfully anyone might try to put it, by telling your parents you won't discuss these contentious issues with them you are in fact trying to censor them, and it's not going to go down well, and it will just start ANOTHER, even more personal argument about whether you can tell them what to do etc etc etc...
You can't win. I should avoid getting into a situation where you *can't* just nod, smile or walk away as required.
Another thing you might want to try in the car is to provide a distraction by listening to an audiobook or some music, or even the ballgame, if the patient likes any of these.
Well, Walter has been gone for a long time and news is reported quite differently today, often sensationalized but they still hang on to each and every word and they find it disturbing. Just my take. I also hate discussing the controversial topics like religion, politics or news issues with mom.
Lord help me when a food item item is recalled! Geeeez, she won’t want to eat it again because she thinks it will poison her. I’m talking about anything, lettuce, peanut butter, etc. I do stay away from it as long as advised too but I don’t obsess over it afterwards. Mom does!
I listen with half and ear, and honestly? Don't let anything she says really stick with me. I don't even talk politics with my DH, so I'm not talking them with my addled 90 yo mom.
My DH will come home from a visit with HIS mother just ragingly angry--and I don't know why. SHE is completely bats and has no foot in reality at all anymore, but she can get under DH's skin.
I tell him what he tells me about my mother: She's got dementia and talking to her is like talking to a chair. He acknowledges that I am right, but struggles to get her to understand the 'truth'.
Ain't gonna happen.
Barring that--put the CD player on and sing along really loudly. That's a showstopper!
Talk on their level, have one heck of a crazy conversation, but at least you won't be angry which is just a wasted emotion at this juncture. Let it go. Shake your head and be amazed at how wrong they can get things. Maybe find a way to even get some amusement from that, in an odd kind of way?
If you feel like interjecting the "truth" into the convo, no harm, go for it. I just suggest NOT insisting that you're right and they're wrong. Wow, that's amazing mom. I wonder why that happened? How that happened? Maybe this, maybe that, have some fun with it.
Take some deep breaths, change your mind set and you'll be soooo much happier.
Keep repeating your answer to me please. I need to hear that over and over! I fall into the trap of debating at times and then I am sorry...