I've been his caregiver for 3 yrs. When my mom died I took care of him. He’s a good man and we’ve always been close. He’s been in my life for 30 yrs now but since he declared his love, it’s so weird for me!
My dad was in love with his caregiver. She simply laughed it off. He was 94 and completely incapable of even walking, so he was not ever going to be able to act on it.
I suggest you just wave it off. If he attempts anything...just say to him what my Dads caregiver said to him when he was being rude to her...”do you want me to leave? If this happens again, I will not warn you..I will just leave”. It wasn’t anything like trying to grab her or such...but it would still apply in that situation.
As you’ve written, you understand that people do develop inappropriate feelings for their caregivers. He is dependent upon you for his care, comfort and safety.
You say in your profile that you quit your job to care for him. You dion’t say how old you are or how old he is or what his issues are— whether they are physical or mental, such as dementia. You write that you are burned out. You are in a vulnerable state right now. You are anxious and stressed and perhaps reconsidering your commitment to take care of him due to this latest development. Has he said he is “in love”; with you? Did he declare a romantic love or just gratitude for your care?
You write that you feel “weird”. If he is cognizant, explain to him that you understand his gratitude for your care for him but your feelings for him are as a daughter for a father and not romantic in any way. Tell him you may have to consider other arrangements for his care. If he is in any way behaving towards you in a way that makes you feel uncomfortable or threatened, it’s time to get out. If you have family, or HE does, you must tell them how he is behaving and that you need help. If he tries to become physical with you, immediately call 9-1-1.
I suggest you just wave it off. If he attempts anything...just say to him what my Dads caregiver said to him when he was being rude to her...”do you want me to leave? If this happens again, I will not warn you..I will just leave”. It wasn’t anything like trying to grab her or such...but it would still apply in that situation.
ps. It never happened again
Sounds like you need a break. Do you have any help at all with him or going it full time alone!
You say in your profile that you quit your job to care for him. You dion’t say how old you are or how old he is or what his issues are— whether they are physical or mental, such as dementia. You write that you are burned out. You are in a vulnerable state right now. You are anxious and stressed and perhaps reconsidering your commitment to take care of him due to this latest development. Has he said he is “in love”; with you? Did he declare a romantic love or just gratitude for your care?
You write that you feel “weird”. If he is cognizant, explain to him that you understand his gratitude for your care for him but your feelings for him are as a daughter for a father and not romantic in any way. Tell him you may have to consider other arrangements for his care. If he is in any way behaving towards you in a way that makes you feel uncomfortable or threatened, it’s time to get out. If you have family, or HE does, you must tell them how he is behaving and that you need help. If he tries to become physical with you, immediately call 9-1-1.