My mother in law has been living with my husband and me and our three children for 15 years. She had been widowed for already a decade before coming to live with us, and she has been disabled all of her life. Over these years, we have seen a gradual decline in her health, having had multiple surgical procedures and being in and out of the hospital for various reasons. Following a recent hospitalization, a catheter was administered and they sent her home with it. Today is day one for us to figure out how to manage everything, which ranges from helping her get from place to place, make all of her food and empty the catheter bag, along with making sure she gets the right medications. We are quite literally overwhelmed as a family & I continually ask myself whether this is a healthy existence. Our kids are ages 10, 12, & 15 and all of us have experienced emotional struggles and a few of us are definitely dealing with some levels of depression & seeing our own counseling. The issues that come with taking care of an elderly person are vast and impossible to predict. Quite frankly, I am her primary care giver and am maxed out. How does a family decide that it is time for a change, & whether it is even possible for a change to occur? Additionally, if the elderly person refuses to make a change (as in assisted living), does that mean we are completely stuck? I certainly feel stuck right now. Thank you for your help.