My Mom is having trouble seeing, hearing and is having a lot of pain in her knee and can't get around well without a walker. Any advice? - AgingCare.com

My Mom is having trouble seeing, hearing and is having a lot of pain in her knee and can't get around well without a walker. Any advice?

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Should we sit down and talk to her about ways for her to be able to know what's in the refrigerator, and talk to her about getting a hearing aid? At what point do we need to have the conversation about nursing home care and how do you begin such a conversation?

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The reality is that AL or NH if well staffed and that offer activities will be a better
fit anyways. There are activities and others to socialize with. I would act now
as many of the better ones can have wait lists. Good luck!!!
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Reply to bettina
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Those are both good suggestions. I started the conversation with my Mom when her best girlfriend fell in her apartment, was hospitalized and passed away.  It was very sad for Mom and we talked about how worried we were that the same fate might befall her as she lived alone. She recognized that the house maintenance was getting away from her and we eased her into a lovely independent living apartment with all her favorite furniture and doodads that she chose to bring.
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Reply to rocketjcat
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Shegooch, I reread your post of 2 months ago and I have to agree with 97yroldmom. Your post of 2 months ago indicated you were just about at the end of your rope with Mom’s behavior and you’d started to “have words” with her. Now you post again and indicate to us that you are still “on the fence” with her and nothing has been done. You don’t indicate if Mom has dementia, or maybe I missed it if you did. But if she does, sitting her down and trying to have earnest conversations with her about refrigerators and hearing aids is going to be lost on her. You said in your previous post that Mom has become accusatory and cantankerous. If it is dementia, she’ll only get worse.

You said Hubby is disabled and in a lot of pain but he still stirs himself to take Mom to the doctor. God bless him. Mine wouldn’t have. Because he’s obviously such a good guy it’s time to make him your #1 priority instead of Mom. Sounds like she had her chance and she blew it. That’s not to say you should approach her going to a facility as punishment. How do you broach the subject? Simple, straightforward honesty. “Mom, I need to take care of John now. He’s been awfully good to me and I need to take care of him. He is my #1. We’re going to help you find a place that you like that will take good care of you, too.” Period. No arguing. You’re a grown woman and able to make your own decisions. No more failure to launch.
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Reply to Ahmijoy
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You have written before about your mom and it was suggested then that she move. I hope you are getting closer to taking action.
How to start the conversation. I’ll venture this one and hopefully others will offer suggestions to help you get started.
“Mom, I have called the Area Agency on Aging. They will be here this afternoon and will do an evaluation on what you need in order to be able to manage better. I know that you are struggling with your knees and your vision is worse. Hubs and I aren’t getting any younger so we need to learn what your options are while we are able to get you situated. Perhaps there is some help for you. “

Write down which ever suggestions you take or come up with and practice them when you are driving so that you aren't stumped if and when she pushes back.
You can do this. Time to get started.
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Reply to 97yroldmom
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