I've started this entry about 10 times and deleted it because I don't want to sound like a you-know-what.
I took this on. I know that. NH wasn't an option for ME. I can't reconcile placing Dad in one just yet and where I live, private pay NH's with Memory Care cost more than the AL I just took him out of (that was just reprimanded HEAVILY by the state). Call me a snob, but the Medicare / Medicaid facilities are atrocious. I could never live with myself if I left Dad there.
OK... onto my question. There may not be an answer BUT... I was wondering if there were any fellow introvert caregivers out there and if so, how do you get that much needed recharging time?
On nights when I have a caregiver, I will just leave work and go somewhere and sit in a parking lot in the car because I don't want to be around people after being around them all day. I've used my employee discount from my part time job to get a hotel room a couple of evenings, but that seems like a waste of money. I don't want to pay $80-$100 for a hotel room that I won't be staying in overnight.
Last week I tried to sneak in the back door to take a bubble bath, but soon realized that my dog would continue to scratch at the bedroom door (essentially giving me away) and that Dad. Talks. Constantly. Loudly. As soon as I lowered myself into the tub and opened my novel, he decides to engage the caregiver in one of his mindless rants. It was as if he was in the room with me. Epic. Fail.
So, today after getting Dad settled, I thought I may be able to retire to my beautiful master suite, lie in bed and read my novel. Apparently Dad doesn't like to see that bedroom door closed. He kept jiggling the handle or knocking every few minutes. I then found him in his room crying because he thought I was upset with him.
I'm finding it challenging to even take a long shower. I've had to jump out a couple of times to check on Dad.
Should I just accept this as the new normal and expect it to get worse as Dad continues to decline?
...and is it bad to close my door (unsafe?)
I really don't want to always have to LEAVE my house to get silence. Is there a happy medium?