Who tells you when its time to move a loved one from Assisted Living to Memory care? Is it solely based on whether they wander? My Mom refuses to eat the food provided for her in the dining hall of the assisted living facility. She has a microwave in her little apartment within the assisted living facility. So we help her get groceries. She has ALWAYS had an eating disorder. But she is growing more confused and we can't be sure that she is eating at all now! She is so stubborn and absolutely refuses to eat in the dining hall. Is it time to move her to memory care?

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LoLo, my Dad was in Independent Living when the Staff called me in for a meeting. The Staff said it was time for my Dad to move to their Assisted Living/Memory Care [this was not a nursing home]. My Dad's issues were 'sundowning' and he was wandering. I knew he was sundowning but the wandering caught me totally by surprised.

I used a theraputic fib to have Dad move to Assisted Living by telling him it would much cheaper living there. Like I said it was a fib, as it did cost more, but Dad always had a knack for wanting to save money. We joked that his room would now be like a college dorm, but without all the partying :)

My Dad's main concern with moving was if he will have the same chef preparing the meals. I had verified with the Staff that yes, Dad would have the same chef. He loved everything that was on the menu as the dining room was restaurant style. He never did lose his sense of taste which is common as we age.
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How much does she weigh? What weight was it when she moved in? And can someone just snoop around while visiting her, to find evidence of eating? Look under the bed for discarded food, in the trash, in drawers, anywhere she could hide things. (A second person can take her for a walk while this happens.)

Keep the receipt from the grocery shopping and compare that to what is in the freezer and cabinets.

But this seems a small reason to put her in memory care.
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With my mom, it was a joint decision. Her facility and I had Care Conference meetings and during them, we discussed what behaviors we were seeing and we all came to the same conclusion, that we needed to move her to the same level of care. She “helped along” the decision when she became combative.

Not eating isn’t a reason to move your mom, however. Some of the food they served my mom I didn’t blame her for not eating. I just brought her snacks and treats and sometimes fast food. Her weight should be monitored weekly, though. In Memory Care, there were 2 aides who sat with the group at each meal. They monitored the patients, what they ate and fed them if necessary.

Call a Care Conference and speak with the staff who are responsible for Mom’s care. It’s not a decision you have to make on your own.
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