I've been here and it's sad. I'd say some of the care-related signs that it's time to move her would include: falls (with or without injury), confusion about medications or when to take them, not eating or eating too much (i.e. they are confused about whether or not they have eaten), calling 911 when nothing is wrong, leaving doors unlocked or inviting in strangers, incontinence of urine and/or stool, poor hygiene, vascular wounds or other types of long-term wounds which require care, not knowing where household bills are or whether they have been paid, etc. These are a few and each case is different. Some of these issues can be resolved with in-home caregivers, but if it's approaching the point where she can't be home alone for ANY length of time, that's important to acknowledge. Your question doesn't state if it's care reasons that you're asking about, but it could also be from the financial side and the only way to assess that would be to get a comprehensive accounting of her income and ALL monthly expenses - including credit card payments and other debts. However, compiling such a list can be difficult if elder wants to keep it secret (they often do) or if elder is no longer sure of that info.
Chapter2, in my MIL's case she was living by herself after her husband went to rehab after a fall. We discovered she wasn't remembering to eat even while we were bringing groceries, home-cooked meals, often. Not remembering to take her meds (or whether she did already take them and then took double dosages). Memory is a critical function. If their memory is going, you won't be able to even call and "check in" with her every day as she will give you an answer (any answer) because she won't really know what she did or said or where she went. We had to go and look in my MIL's fridge and garbage to see evidence that she had eaten (even after she told us she did and named items she thought she ate). In our instance, memory loss was the trigger to move her. It does not matter that your mom has lived in whatever home for how many years. Now it's about making changes that are in her best interests that are amenable to whoever is provider her care or managing it. FYI your own immediate family comes first. If your mother's current caregiving arrangement negatively impacts this, then the arrangement is not working and must change. I wish you all the best as your work this out.
Dear Chapter2, As "freqflyer" mentioned it would be helpful to know more about your situation with your mom. For me, our family moved here in 1968 and she said she wanted to stay in the house forever. When my dad died in 2004, my mom was 79. I ran back and forth from our house to hers for the next ten years until I could no longer do it. She had a 3-bedroom house, washer and dryer were on the backyard patio and there was an unfenced pool. We got her an alert system similar to "Life Alert" and hired someone to clean the pool to supplement what I was doing with it. She was still driving and would get lost, she did go missing one night so that involved the police, she fell off a short step stool in the backyard while trimming a tree and had to crawl to get to a phone to call me (she fractured her wrist trying to break her fall) and her checkbook wasn't getting balanced so I took her to the doctor. Once she had a brain scan through her primary doctor, we saw a Neurologist when she was diagnosed with Alzheimer's. I simply couldn't handle worrying constantly, calling her every single day sometimes multiple times to make sure she was home and ok, she ran a red light with one of her friends in the car, got a speeding ticket which my husband found at her house while having dinner just to name a few things that became red flags. There were just too many things that could have gone wrong. One of her sisters who lived in another state had her go up there for two months while I started to go through some of her things but I barely scratched the surface as both my parents had so much stuff (they lived through the Great Depression so they kept everything). Upon her return, I took the car away and two months later moved her into an AL facility. I then had to clear out her house and sell it in order to pay her rent. Currently, she is 95 and living in a new facility in the memory care wing. She has a one bedroom apartment with a window so we can "window visit" as the lockdown continues due to the pandemic. In short, if they can no longer care for themselves without assistance and hiring in-home health care isn't frequent enough, I'd say that's a good sign to start looking for a place to move your mom.
Chapter 2, we need more information. What are your Mom's health issues? Is she a fall risk? Does she have memory issues? Is she unable to care for herself? Where would Mom be living if she moved?
As "freqflyer" mentioned it would be helpful to know more about your situation with your mom.
For me, our family moved here in 1968 and she said she wanted to stay in the house forever. When my dad died in 2004, my mom was 79. I ran back and forth from our house to hers for the next ten years until I could no longer do it. She had a 3-bedroom house, washer and dryer were on the backyard patio and there was an unfenced pool. We got her an alert system similar to "Life Alert" and hired someone to clean the pool to supplement what I was doing with it. She was still driving and would get lost, she did go missing one night so that involved the police, she fell off a short step stool in the backyard while trimming a tree and had to crawl to get to a phone to call me (she fractured her wrist trying to break her fall) and her checkbook wasn't getting balanced so I took her to the doctor. Once she had a brain scan through her primary doctor, we saw a Neurologist when she was diagnosed with Alzheimer's. I simply couldn't handle worrying constantly, calling her every single day sometimes multiple times to make sure she was home and ok, she ran a red light with one of her friends in the car, got a speeding ticket which my husband found at her house while having dinner just to name a few things that became red flags. There were just too many things that could have gone wrong. One of her sisters who lived in another state had her go up there for two months while I started to go through some of her things but I barely scratched the surface as both my parents had so much stuff (they lived through the Great Depression so they kept everything). Upon her return, I took the car away and two months later moved her into an AL facility. I then had to clear out her house and sell it in order to pay her rent.
Currently, she is 95 and living in a new facility in the memory care wing. She has a one bedroom apartment with a window so we can "window visit" as the lockdown continues due to the pandemic.
In short, if they can no longer care for themselves without assistance and hiring in-home health care isn't frequent enough, I'd say that's a good sign to start looking for a place to move your mom.