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I'm so afraid that she's going to try to cook something and start a fire. The doc put her on Trazadone, but nothing has changed. Any ideas on how to deal with this? She lives with us.

Actually 3 a.m. is the norm for many people in circadian rhythms of sleep patterns. Most of us, upon awakening, learn to turn on radio to lull us back to sleep. Some read. Some get up and do letter writing. Many lay abed and worry; it's the time we are beset by fears. There is much written about waking patterns at 3 or 4 a.m.

My worry about too much medication to take care of this is the problem of falls, and yes, if awakening pretty "doped up" a fire is a real concern. I think it's time to consider her access to danger and her own safety whether this means installation of doors to kitchen or placement in care is hard to judge from what you say. But there does come a time when the care of several shifts of several folks each shift is required to keep one relatively safe.
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Reply to AlvaDeer
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So she may need a different sleep medication or maybe something to help with agitation. My DH and both of my daughters have sleep issues (all have ADHD and one is also Autistic).At some point they have all been on Trazodone, and even though it is promoted as helping you fall asleep and stay asleep - all three of them only got the "helps you fall asleep" part and still woke multiple times a night.

Unfortunately, if she has dementia, her brain is working differently and may need different meds to help her stay asleep.

Additionally, is she waking up for a reason - does she go to the bathroom and then can't go back to sleep maybe? Is she having nightmares or night terrors? Is the temperature in her room too hot or cold? Is she having restless legs or some other neurological issue that presents physically and makes it hard to sleep?

At the end of the day, especially if she has dementia - her brain chemistry is altered now. Is she sleeping more during the day?

My FIL was like a newborn, had his days and nights mixed up- and would sleep for most of the day and then say he couldn't sleep at night. He would say "I didn't sleep at all last night" or "I barely slept last night". But he didn't realize he was often sleeping 10 sometimes even 12+ hours while the sun was up. He would literally get his "first" wind around 5pm and eat dinner and get on his computer and stay there for most of the night, then go to bed around 2 or 3 am and not be able to sleep.

She may also need a dosage change for the Trazodone.

Hopefully you will be able to find a solution without worrying. Can you remove the knobs for the oven and unplug appliances when you go to bed to alleviate the cooking concern?
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Reply to BlueEyedGirl94
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Foamergirl Aug 8, 2025
I have these same issues with my husband; it's nice to know I'm not alone. Thank you for posting this.
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Hi Stardust,
My Dad had the same issue, so I get how frustrating this is for the entire household. I would suggest speaking with the doctor again about either the dosage of the Trazadone (maybe she needs a higher dose?) or changing to a different med. My Dad did not respond well to the Trazadone, and it took us trials of 2 other meds to find the right one. As time went by, we eventually had to increase the dosage, but it's working for him. I hope you find some relief so you can all sleep well!
Deb
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Reply to debspeak
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Remove the stove knobs or shut off the circuit breaker to the stove
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Reply to MACinCT
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My Mom, suffering from Dementia, woke up at 3am too. I live in a split level and she had the bottom level. I was able to put a gate across the stairs coming up to the main level to keep her from coming up the steps. I had a baby monitor so I heard her get up. I went down, showed her it was still dark out and put her back to bed.
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Reply to JoAnn29
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I had the same problem with my mother. She actually left the house, walked next door, and tried to open their garage door. Luckily the neighbor across the streets dog was barking. She called & the police came. I went and brought her home. Baby gates & a baby monitor with sound helps now. Good luck
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Reply to Tflowers
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Stardust: Pose your question to a geriatric psychiatrist. I sought help for the same issue at a psychiatrist. Google shows that a person is transitioning to REM sleep at 3 A.M. Ergo, the reason why they awaken.
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Reply to Llamalover47
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Try Having her avoid taking naps in the day time and let her participate in activities during the daytime
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Reply to Nkwaolcom49
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Is your mom busy during the day with activities which tires her enough so that she enjoys a good deep sleep at night? Does she naps during the day, especially long ones. Is coffee and other caffeine beverages are prohibited about 2 hours before bedtime? Does she go to the bathroom and empty herself before bed, does she wear depends and due to incontinence, she wets herself and the incontinence gear becomes uncomfortable, etc.

I have written a book based on my studies and my 18 years of experience caring for a dementia patient, my wife. The book, "Dementia Care Companion" is available at Amazon.
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Reply to Samad1
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I don’t have anything to add in terms of a solution. Meds, alarms, cameras, and safety measures are all I know about.

My dad had insomnia for 25 years before being diagnosed with dementia. In the 2-3 years leading up to his diagnosis, he was doing a lot of crazy, dangerous things in the wee hours. In his case, once he was diagnosed, Trazodone plus Seroquel helped, though as his dementia progressed, later he lost most sense of day or night. At least his obsessive, dangerous behaviors lessened.

From what I have read, REM sleep seems to clear out tau protein tangles in the brain and if we don’t get enough REM sleep, the tangles build up and apparently are a factor or even main cause of dementia. So, insomnia can contribute to dementia AND dementia is highly associated with sleeping issues. It goes both ways.
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