My mother is constantly talking about having no energy and being sick. She doesn't want to drive anymore so relies on me to pick her up groceries and things. We have been to several doctors who have checked her and have found no real health issues. She makes me feel guilty that I dont stay with her but I have a husband and son at home. I tell her she needs to get some fresh air and leave the house but she refuses. What do I do?

What checks did the several doctors do? What sort of doctors were they?

If you accompanied your mother to these appointments, were you confident that she was telling the doctors the whole truth? The reason I ask is that your profile lists incontinence and sleep disorders among her issues, along with anxiety, and these can be difficult problems for a person to communicate accurately.

Fresh air and getting out of the house would do anyone a power of good, I agree. But if you are depressed and incontinent, and you haven't had a proper night's sleep, it's easier said than done. Is anyone else in regular contact with her, or is it all down to you?
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Reply to Countrymouse

My mom dies of cancer in 2003. Every week after that my father insisted he had some form of cancer. He was checked out by every specialist in the area. You couldn't hold a conversation with him without the word cancer coming up in the first 30 seconds. It was utterly ridiculous. A few years ago his topic of conversation changed to poop. I miss the cancer talks.
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Reply to lkdrymom

Has she been evaluated for depression?
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Reply to Kittybee

Logan123, I see from your profile that your Dad had passed on only 3 years ago, thus your Mom has lost the love of her life, a person she could reply on to help her, a person she could talk to, smile with, etc. That is tough for anyone. Chances are she is still grieving.

She is forgetting how it was being young with a young family. She probably is scared of going out alone.

You are right, your Mom needs to get out and do something she enjoys. I know for myself, I do volunteering at a local hospital and it a good-feel type of experience. There are other places that need volunteers. Even a thrift shop, or a library.

One step at a time.
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Reply to freqflyer

Make one more trip to the doctor. If Mom hasn’t had blood tests, she needs them to make sure she’s not lacking in anything that would cause her to feel ill. If she has already had tests and they’re normal, ask the doctor about depression. Not wanting to go anywhere or do anything and feeling sick” can be a sign of depression.

Another poster here says that you should only feel guilty if you’ve done something wrong. Wanting to take care of your responsibilities as a wife and mom is not wrong.
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Reply to Ahmijoy

My mom is like that too. Won’t go anywhere. She’s 93 and just plain tired. Parkinson’s disease is so rough. Hard for her to get around. She’s very, very slow.

My 97 year old cousin doesn’t even use a cane! Wouldn’t it be wonderful if everyone got around like my cousin.
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Reply to NeedHelpWithMom

You establish boundaries. There are ways for mom to take care of things herself. But, she has you and doesn't need to figure out another way. What are you comfortably able to help her with and how often? Set that as your limit, tell her, and offer to help her figure out what she needs then step back and let her do it. Do not give in.
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Reply to gladimhere

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