How do you handle a mentally challenged nephew who needs to be picked up and returned home and you are the 24/7 caregiver and can't leave?

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I am the 24/7 live in caregiver for mother. My nephew who is mentally challenged had always been picked up and driven home by me. Now mom can't walk and lost control of bowel and bladder, and requires minute to minute care. In one day he called 6 times and left repeated voice mails. His father passed when he was 13 and his mother has remarried and the new husband kicked him out of the house, so now he is in subsidized housing. I am too busy taking care of mom to leave her for a minute and go pick him up so he can sit here, and then leave and take him home. He has taken it upon himself to call my sibling 3000 miles away and say that I am not picking up the phone and I am preventing him from seeing his grandmother. NOW, how would you tell this person it is his responsibility to find a way here and a way home? OH, he has one sibling which he doesn't speak to because he was asked to co-sign for a car loan and the car was repossessed and the finance came after him.

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What have you been telling him when he calls and asks you to come get him? Simply tell him the truth. You can't leave to pick him up. Your parent-care responsibilities make it impossible. End of story. If there's any other family member or neighbor or local friend who can help with driving him from time to time, maybe you could suggest that to him (or the potential substitute driver). Apart from that, you can only do what you can do. It's sad but you're only one person - you can only be in one place at a time.
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Contact the State Dept. of Rehabilitation and then The County Regional Center for transportation helps and a case worker. They can even teach him to use the bus, or sign up for transportation access.
Also, the County Mental Health can have a case worker resource transportation for him.

If there is money, he will need a smartphone or I-phone to access Uber rides. This is a good idea because it allows for promoting independence, but costs can soar if left unaccountable to others. (share rides are less expensive).

Does he have a case-worker?

Are you his rep-payee or POA? Who is?

Isn't it just wonderful when they accuse you of not doing something? Who put that idea in his head...."preventing him from seeing grandma?"

Hand over his care to case workers, you bow out. He is dangerous to you. imo.
Where does he live, cause no matter his age, I wanna come over and slap the arrogant tyrant,
fool. imo. said out of frustration....I would never.....

Bike or bus?
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