How do you get someone screened for mental issues, depression, Alzheimer's or other dementias if they don't want it?

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My husband has difficulties -- such as inability to tell the difference between an event next week vs. one 3 months in the future. He cannot make simple phone calls (i.e. to refill a prescription). He often can't find what he's looking for in the refrigerator. He DOES shower, shave, brush teeth, dress himself, stay current with TV news, yet he seems "absent" much of the time. For instance, we recently met with and hired someone to help with lawn care, but two hours later he didn't remember "shaking hands on the deal" and kept thinking we needed to call the man. I don't know whether he's not paying attention in the moment when events occur, or if it's a memory issue concerning recent events. I spend a lot of time explaining things to him, answering the same questions over & over. He also has anger issues -- is impatient, moody, accusatory, just plain mean. He complains all the time -- and I mean ALL THE TIME. He has Tourette-like vocalizations: makes anger sounds, misery sounds, wounded animal sounds, mumbles & grumbles, mutters under his breath. Yet I can't get him to agree to any kind of mental screening! I've been trying for years to get him to see a neurologist or psych, but no luck. How on earth do you get someone evaluated and into treatment???????

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if he has some dementia, he may be able like you said to shower, shave etc.
these are long term memory skills.

the other things like "did I have lunch already" or "did I request lawn care"
that is short term memory(loss)

my mom still showers, dresses herself, tries to read paper (like she has for over 50 years)
those are her long term memory skills.

so my mom reads the paper. and she can not remember anything she just read.
that is her short term memory.(loss)

my moms short term memory is less than one minute. so whatever happens, she is constantly forgetting what happened. its a constant circle of forgetting.

he may sense the loss of memory, and that may cause him to be moody.
but could be other things too I guess....
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TheWife Jul 26, 2018
Thank you for your response! Yes, his symptoms sound a lot like your Mom's. For instance, today I brought in the mail and we went through it -- mostly junk, one bill, and a notice from his health insurer. A few hours later he's "Did we get the mail yet?" Here's another: we had a friend who died on Sept 12 many years ago. Every year we send flowers to his widow on that date. Today my husband asked me "what day is today?" I answered that it's Thursday. No, he said, "what day of the month?" I told him it was the 26th. He said "Oh no! We forgot to send flowers to Jean!" I'm sorry about your Mom. Are you her primary care-giver?
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Take him with you to your appointment, then the doctor can ask him to come in.
My doctor knew aspergers after 1/2 hour due to the way my dH answered questions, (or did not answer them).

Your dH may need a neurologist, a geriatric neurologist.

You can be wiley, say come with me to my appointment so we can go get In N Out burgers afterwards. Come inside to sit, it is much too hot outside. Etc.
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TheWife Jul 26, 2018
Thank you for the idea, but it's not so easy. He went to his primary care physician recently for a physical complaint. While he was out of earshot I asked the staff to ask his doctor to screen him for dementia, but they said they can't do it without the patient's consent. I did find a do-it-yourself Alzheimer's test online here: https://www.everydayhealth.com/news/do-it-yourself-alzheimers-test-reveals-early-disease/ But now, after reading more, I'm beginning to think it may be kinder just to let him go undiagnosed. Read more here: https://www.brightfocus.org/alzheimers/article/informing-your-loved-one-about-their-alzheimers-diagnosis
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If you hear or see evidence that he is a danger to himself or others, then you can either call 911 and tell them that he is a danger to himself or others or you can go before a magistrate and explain that he is a danger to himself or others and ask for an involuntary committal for a full evaluation of him which is often called Baker Acting. This includes things such his anger issues making you afraid for your own life. Don't deny whatever you see or feel and make the call when you need to.
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Sendhelp Jul 24, 2018
CMagnum, we call it code 5150 in California...is the person 5150 holdable?
The usual, 24 hrs, 48 hrs, 72 hrs., then 14 days.
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