My mom has mild cognitive decline, hypertension, diabetes and kidney problems. She no longer drives so she cannot get to store and dr appointment on her own. She refuses assisted living and I am breaking apart physically, professionally and emotionally. My siblings refuse to help because they are “busy” and have their own issues with my mom. I work full time, have lost all interpersonal relationships and my own health is struggling because I have to prioritize my moms appointments over my own. Twice I have found her non responsive from not taking meds (ultimately being hospitalized with PRES from BP of 305/195). I have told health care providers and social workers I cannot be the care provider because I have to work but I cannot seem to get help from social services once they release her from the hospital. She needs help a couple hours a day for med management and drs appointments but I can’t seem to get connected with the right support services. I am at my wits end. I love my mom but she isn’t always nice and no matter what I do, it is never enough. I can’t go anywhere except work and her house, I can’t take even a day to me and I am at a point of deep despair and despondency. I can’t afford to pay out of pocket for private care, they said she has to have medication management, I can’t work and do medication management and my own physical health is suffering due to lack of sleep, relaxation and inability to go to my own drs appointments. I feel like I am failing my mom and myself and I don’t know how to get in touch with the right DSHS entity for guidance
I’m sorry for rambling and I welcome any positive and constructive input and guidance
She will either need paid care coming in every day to help her or move her to a skilled nursing facility as AL might not be able to take her with a high care requirement.
If she has her own house or other funds, I would start by getting her paid care. I would use her assets to self-pay for the care she needs.
However, the only way this will happen is if you start to say NO. If you continue to provide all of the care, she will never see the need for anyone else and your life will remain the same.
It is very unlikely you will find the care you have described without tremendous cost to your Mom, so a lot of these things come down to assets, this being America and the American Way.
I would contact your local Council on Aging in your area. See if you have accessed everything you can for your Mom's needs the easy way.
I wish that I had more ideas for you. I am very sorry.