What should or shouln’t you say so not to upset them?

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If you are in the middle or about to start the guardianship process, your family member would generally (I don't know the law for all 50 states) be appointed at guardian ad litem and/or their own counsel to represent their interests. The guardian ad litem also makes a report to the court. Perhaps one of them could assist in talking to your mother about the process? I mean, they will anyway, but if they know you are struggling with how to discuss it, perhaps they could help.
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Guardianship is granted and , in most states, monitored by the courts. It is intended to be a level of protection for the person.
However, there are persons that are called professional guardians. Not all of these are in business to protect people but rather to make a profit and really don't care about the protected person.
Being a guardian is a lot of paperwork. Here where I live I must get court approval to spend certain amounts of the protected persons money. I am allowed to spend only what the court approves. I presently am allowed to only spend $250.00 monthly for recurring expenses, such as diapers. If I have an unexpected expense I need to go back into court and get approval.
At the end of the year I must present to the court an annual accounting report and proposed future expenses.
I was directed by the court to have DW's savings put into a blocked account, preventing me from withdrawing funds without court approval.
I did all of this to protect DW and her money and health care, allowing only me to make the final decision on her total care. There are guidelines in our state laws that I must follow.
The horror stories of some of the professional guardians are actually horrendous.
I posted a link to a news article on some of the things that were done here before our laws were changed. It was entitled "How the Elderly Lose Their Rights."
You might want to review your state and local laws regarding Guardianship. Here there are two levels of guardianship. One is for the person and the other is for the wards estate. I was granted both.
If you are sincere about wanting to are for your LO and to protect them a guardianship would be, in my opinion, the best way to go.
I would also suggest you find a Certified Eldercare Attorney to learn more and to start the process.
Best of Luck.
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