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I've lost most of my family over a period of a few years, one after the other, including my parents, grandparents, my sister's only two children (which were very close to me) several aunts, uncles, my only two brothers, and even several friends.......my 52 year old brother just died a few months ago in the ICU and I was never even told by the hospital how he actually died. He had an alcohol problem, and all I do know is that he was conscious and aware in the ICU one minute, and then gone the next.
8 months prior to that, our mom passed away from cancer. I stayed home at her house with her so she could get hospice care, but at home rather than dying in a hospice unit, potentially surrounded by strangers (that's not to say that the hospice people are not complete angels, because they are) I couldn't have done it without their help and real compassion.
I did hold my mom's hand as she took her last breath that July early morning around 2 am, and feel like I did make it to the most important engagement of my life (to be there for my mom when she passed away, and not let her pass away alone) and I'm extremely thankful that I got to do that. However, life for me truly changes at that very moment, and has stayed the same ever since. I remember looking up at the sunny sky that morning after mom was taken out of the house, and even the sky looked different. The trees, the roads I've traveled for many years, all just looked different.
I've never felt so alone, and could never have imagined this is how life would be at the age of 47.
I still function like a normal person, but feel different inside, and it's kind of a numbing feeling, mixed with sadness and regret. Why am I writing all of this? Perhaps others have experienced similar situations, and hearing it from other people may help just knowing that, yes, you will feel different. You may always feel this way. You'll still be able to move on. But most importantly, I feel like I should tell my story in the hopes that someone out there that isn't making time for their loved ones will read my words, and understand that it could all change in an instant leaving you alone in this world, just wishing you had one last chance to tell your mom you love her, or take your dad out to that car show he used to enjoy going to in his younger years...............

Thank you for sharing your story. I am sorry that you have had so much loss in your short time here on earth. Doesn't seem fair, does it? Unfortunately death is part of life, and I guess the bigger our circle of family and friends are, the more loss we will experience over time. Death does change the living. It could be for the better,(not taking life or people for granted) or it could be for the worse,(growing bitter and putting up walls to protect our broken hearts)but it indeed does change us. I hope and pray that with all your loss, that you have sought out some grief counseling, so you can move forward in the best and healthiest way possible. May God give you His peace and comfort.
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Reply to funkygrandma59
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I'm so sorry for you loss upon loss. It is unimaginable. Thank you for your very important reminder to show love to our loved ones while they're still with us. May you receive healing of your spirit and gain peace in your heart.
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This has happened to me. Everyone died, some I loved and some I did not. My father died, my brother died, and my mother died last (just 7 moths ago). During the time between my brother’s death and my mom’s, I had two major surgeries. It felt like a bomb had gone off in my life and just left a hole.

Now I am completely alone. Come a holiday, it’s just me. Need minor surgery, so a ride there and back - I have nobody. I walk in the world but I am disconnected, with not a single close blood relative. I feel like an invisible woman. And there is no cure.
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Dbug82716 Jul 4, 2021
I know how you feel, I’m 44 and lost all my family at 42. There’s no real way to express how you feel than just total blankness. Life comes to a halt, holidays have no meaning. I personally would like to have family even if adopted as adults. It would be nice to have a fb page where others who have lost all family can gain new family from those who have none huh?
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I’m so sorry for your losses. I know how you feel. I had a very small family. Mom, Dad and daughter. They are all gone now. My daughter was 27 and died of a drug overdose. I didn’t even know she did drugs. You do feel invisible. My history is gone. No one knows it but me. It’s incredibly lonely. I have many good friends. But it’s not the same. Hang in there. You’re not alone.
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What a tremendous amount of loss you have had. I honestly cannot even begin to imagine it, and esp the loss of the younger family members one would/could normally expect might be there to help in the loss and grief over the elders. And the loss of a young still brother. I would like to suggest grief groups if you can find them in your area. Or a grief counselor. Esp. during Covid 19 times it is going to be terribly hard to get out there and form a community.
If you are a person of faith (I am not) there may be church or church groups. If you are a believer I might suggesting choosing a church. Volunteering helps people often enough and there are so many ways to do that now. My friend volunteers at a food distribution place to help those in need; she packs up the dog food in baggies, so nothing all that strenuous, but she has met like minded friends that way.
I am so sorry for all the grief in your life.
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I’m creating a page on fb, adoptable me. It’s a place where people who have no family can meet others to create a family and share their experiences. I’m hoping to grow this group. Check it out
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KatieGrew1911 Dec 10, 2021
What a great creative way to bring people in… good luck!!
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To those of you suggesting grief counseling —
if you are youngish, then yes.
but if you are over 55, maybe not.

I did try it and I got a look like — you are old enough to know that people die, what is your problem? I tried to explain that everyone died, but therapist was unmoved!
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NeedHelpWithMom Jul 5, 2021
That’s very sad. I would have looked for a new group. That therapist needed her own therapist.
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I have lost my parents, grandparents, favorite cousin, my best friend, my aunt, my two beloved horses, and recently my 25 year old dove. It seemed like just when I started to get my grief under control another one died and restarted it all over. I was truly Frightening to me as I have my sister( not very close to, very different) who lives 18 hours away, my stepfather ( sweet but can dove me a bit nutty with his stories I have heard 100’s of times) who lives 3 hours away and is grieving my mother and now having medical issues. I have an uncle who is not doing well at this moment …he is 93. My aunt who I was closest with fought with my sister over the will when my mom died and tried to drag me into it 2 weeks after my mom died. So that relationship change is something also I had to grieve. So I think it is the loneliness that also makes it even harder. I have my husband. We have no children . I feel like I am down to my hubby, one widowed dove, a cat, my sister, and her two kids that I don’t know too well as they grew up across the country when my sister lived out west. The memories of being with my family well up in my mind at times. I never know when. I used to feel like I was suffocating from it. My loved ones are everywhere in my house. Their ashes. I take care of my friends plants I inherited. I look at the furniture I got from my cousin’s house. I look at my moms beloved Knick knacks. I look at the owl art of my dads he so loved. I look at old photos and videos. I began to feel that I spent too much time looking back and that I needed to look forward and live. Those memories of joy ( most of bad ones I find have faded luckily) remind me how important it is to live life and find joy. When my mom died this summer I went backpacking in Iceland. My husband and I have realized how short and precious life is. We are taking ss as soon as we can and in the meantime going to explore the world as much as financially possible, and then find and settle in a country more affordable for retirement. Life is beautiful. Life is precious. We must experience it while we have it! Their deaths have opened a door for me into the meaning of life… to be happy. To experience beauty and joy. For now while We must work, so that is limited , but soon, in a few years we will say goodbye to our house and our ‘stuff’ and explore and enjoy. And we will be free of family obligations to do so. I guess that’s one lemonade made from the lemons. No attachments. Complete freedom to do what we want. Right now I look forward and get excited about the future. I just can’t keep looking back. I can be grateful for all the wonderful time and experiences I had with them, but I have to look forward, because we can’t go backwards can we? Grief is the price we must pay for love. It is worth it, but it doesn’t need to control us. It is just a reminder of the love we have. It is just a reminder of all those memories that we treasure so. It makes me feel so grateful to have had the honor of knowing those loved ones. It is also a huge reminder of the future and our own lives that are also heading towards the inevitable . I don’t want to look back and grieve what could have been my own life. I want to live it now to my fullest and make wonderful plans for the future. That would bring honor to all those gone who have loved me. So hugs to you my dear. You are not alone. Always think of how you can do self care when the waves of Grief wash over you. They would never want you to drown in sorrow from their passing. They want you to be happy. I want you to feel happy. You should want that for yourself. Go find some joy and treasure the making of new happy memories! Do things for yourself that you will find pleasure in! Live. And when the happy memories pop up of your loved ones, feel them, and move on. When the sad memories pop up, guess what? You can replace them with happy memories! But don’t stay too long in them for they are just some chapters you have already read
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i am so sorry for your loss. We’re in a horrible devastating club. From age 33-39 I lost my mom sister and brother-the closest people in my life. 5 months after my brother died his dog passed and he was the link to the past and the people I loved. I already lost my brother and father in early childhood. I am so damn sad tonight. I have 2 other sisters much older who I wasn’t as close to. We’ve been talking lately but I think , they’ll be next. Is this all life is now? Waiting for the next person to leave you? I tried to be positive about being 40, thinking I can start over but instead I’ve just been so sad and lonely , in a job I hate, no one to talk to and pretending to have it all together for the kids I raised raised( niece and nephew) and my grandbabies.
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poodledoodle Mar 7, 2022
Sending my love to you.

Imagine your family cheering you on. They would want you: to be happy, find ways to get up again, have fun, find solutions to your problems, explore new, unexpected hobbies and passions. Use life to the fullest. :)

Poodle :)
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I was adopted and raised by my grandparents, both long gone. My adopted brother (biological uncle) died in 2018 of an alcohol overdose and my adopted sister (biological aunt) is in the next room right now dying of congestive heart failure and complications of a brain injury, in hospice care. It was only after my brother died that I realized that I was going to be all alone very soon, without any close family left. My only living relative will soon be my biological mother, and she is in her late 70s and battling a progressive disease of her own. I have a loving partner, but I never had children, something I am regretting horribly at the moment (I'm in my 50s, so too late). The idea that I will no longer have my own family and home to go to for holidays--no one to share stories with, no one with a common history--is gutting me. The fact that I am the last in my family line is also crushing. I also did not realize how much I loved my aunt until now--she was like a second mother to me, and I took her for granted. I did not go to see her nearly as much as I should have. Now that she will soon be gone, the idea of her not in the world is absolutely crushing. I simply had not thought forward to what my future would look like, and now it's too late. Add to all this the fact that she had been battling illness for a while before it got bad, and I got to her too late to truly help, and the fact that I have been desperately trying to manage her care, and due to medical mixups, misdirections, and sheer physician neglect, I am 100 percent sure that she is dying when she did not have to be. I feel so responsible, and I do not know how I am going to get through this.
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