After temporarily moving in with mom out of care and concern over a post op recovery, I am burned out. Mom has a history of mobility issues which began before I was born (30+years).
Over these last few months I have seen a lot more of mom and her issues than I've ever seen before.
Long story short, this time was an opportunity to help mom, evaluate her needs, monitor her post operation and discuss long term care. What I got was a fight.
A fight with even getting her to medical appointments because she will not schedule them as agreed. You have a discussion with her, agree on dates and times, and she flat out does not schedule them or schedules them way outside of what was discussed.
Almost everything with her is a fight and then a discussion with a neighbor, relative or pastor (flying monkeys) where she takes no accountability and I am the horrible person. But then a week later she is so grateful to have me there.
It really is bizarre in a way, but honestly it's not entirely new. She has been this way just about my whole life. It's just up to now, I was denial or raised to flow with the discard, love bomb, discard. I also did not fight back or question her as much as I do now, which I know she does not take kindly to people that question her or offer other ways of thinking.
Granted I have not done everything perfectly. I am not perfect, but who is? She really showed just how selfish she can be, that she could care less about her long term care needs, etc. Even if her lack of care causes others hardship. She doesn't care.
She seems to believe that she has to fight everything. What is wrong with compromising?
She can also be sweet as pie. People believe she is so nice and helpful, which she can be, but there is this side, when the "mask" is off, that I and maybe 1 or 2 others can see.
My question is how do you care for a parent that seems to enjoy games, fighting, chaos, values the prospect of "winning," and bad mouths you for even the smallest of things? For anyone else, this would be game over. You just get out of the game. But it's just not that easy with a parent, especially being an only child... or am I wrong?