Tracie, Used to give my mother a shower every day and now with her decline and almost falling off her shower chair with one caregiver present I stopped doing it. Now we give her a shower once week or every two weeks with two of us with her. I sponge bath her every day, I use a high quality soap, one basin for washing the other for rinsing. She is as clean as if she took a shower. Be safe and do a sponge bath in bed.
What happened to make him "afraid?" Did he almost slip or did he slip. Do not have to have a fall just a slip on the floor will make someone more cautious to the point of being afraid. You can start by getting a shower chair or bench. That might make him feel more secure. Also good secure grab bars are important and do not use the towel bars or the bars on the shower doors neither are strong enough to be used as grab bars. With dementia there is the possibility that he may have forgotten how to shower. Or the steps that need to be done to shower. If you think about it there is a lot that we do automatically and with dementia those steps can get confusing. You can either physically help him in the shower or you can get a Shower Aide that will come in a few days a week to help him. As to the 3 showers a week that might be more than he actually needs. If he is not working up a sweat and is cleaned properly and well after toileting a shower 2 times a week should be sufficient. (I checked my State's regulations when my Husband was in Rehab and I was surprised to find out that the state only requires 2 times a week) And if showering is going to be a battle best to fight the battle 2 times a week rather than 3. I was also told by the PT that came that showering is frightening for some. The water hitting on the head and upper torso if scary and they feel vulnerable. I used a shower wheel chair for my Husband and gave him control of the hand help shower head. I would wet him down starting at his feet then would work around to his back and let the water gently flow over his shoulders. I would also often turn the water off so it was not quite as loud in the bathroom. And I would talk in a very quiet voice so it would not seem as loud or echo as much. Bathrooms are noisy places.
Expecting an elder with Alz/dementia to bathe 3x a week is too much; once a week is plenty, really. Watch Teepa Snow videos on how to best help soothe an elder's fears with regard to bathing. Below is a link to a couple of her videos on the subject:
See if you can determine why your father is refusing to bathe; is he afraid of falling, of the water itself, the strength of the spray, of the water coming at his face? Water shoes help a lot with fear of falling; you can buy a pair on Amazon. A hand held spray nozzle helps a lot of elders control the water flow and direct it where THEY want it to go.
Read up on dementia at Alzheimers.org to learn all you can on the subject and pick up a copy of The 36 Hour Day which is especially helpful and a great reference guide to have handy. You may also look into hiring an aide to shower dad at some point; the elders normally act MUCH better with an outsider who's hired to help them than they do with family members, and that's the truth!
Used to give my mother a shower every day and now with her decline and almost falling off her shower chair with one caregiver present I stopped doing it. Now we give her a shower once week or every two weeks with two of us with her. I sponge bath her every day, I use a high quality soap, one basin for washing the other for rinsing. She is as clean as if she took a shower. Be safe and do a sponge bath in bed.
Did he almost slip or did he slip. Do not have to have a fall just a slip on the floor will make someone more cautious to the point of being afraid.
You can start by getting a shower chair or bench. That might make him feel more secure. Also good secure grab bars are important and do not use the towel bars or the bars on the shower doors neither are strong enough to be used as grab bars.
With dementia there is the possibility that he may have forgotten how to shower. Or the steps that need to be done to shower. If you think about it there is a lot that we do automatically and with dementia those steps can get confusing.
You can either physically help him in the shower or you can get a Shower Aide that will come in a few days a week to help him.
As to the 3 showers a week that might be more than he actually needs.
If he is not working up a sweat and is cleaned properly and well after toileting a shower 2 times a week should be sufficient. (I checked my State's regulations when my Husband was in Rehab and I was surprised to find out that the state only requires 2 times a week)
And if showering is going to be a battle best to fight the battle 2 times a week rather than 3.
I was also told by the PT that came that showering is frightening for some. The water hitting on the head and upper torso if scary and they feel vulnerable. I used a shower wheel chair for my Husband and gave him control of the hand help shower head. I would wet him down starting at his feet then would work around to his back and let the water gently flow over his shoulders.
I would also often turn the water off so it was not quite as loud in the bathroom. And I would talk in a very quiet voice so it would not seem as loud or echo as much. Bathrooms are noisy places.
https://www.google.com/search?q=teepa+snow+hand+over+hand+bathing&rlz=1C1CHBD_enUS896US896&oq=&sourceid=chrome&ie=UTF-8
See if you can determine why your father is refusing to bathe; is he afraid of falling, of the water itself, the strength of the spray, of the water coming at his face? Water shoes help a lot with fear of falling; you can buy a pair on Amazon. A hand held spray nozzle helps a lot of elders control the water flow and direct it where THEY want it to go.
Read up on dementia at Alzheimers.org to learn all you can on the subject and pick up a copy of The 36 Hour Day which is especially helpful and a great reference guide to have handy. You may also look into hiring an aide to shower dad at some point; the elders normally act MUCH better with an outsider who's hired to help them than they do with family members, and that's the truth!
Good luck!