First, she's in Depends but doesn't really need them except for the night. I was told to try to put her on a schedule. During the day, she goes to the toilet when she wakes, at noon, five and before bed. She's now taken to not drinking like she should after dinner and then the fun begins because she can't go to the bathroom at bedtime (10:00 ish). All she must do is take two medium sized glasses of water between 5:30 and 9:30. She takes a diuretic at dinner time, so there should be no problem. She doesn't do it and lies and says she does. When she does do it, we don't HAVE a problem. She mostly doesn't unless I walk by every 15 minutes and tell her to drink some water (and it always seems to be on the worst days) then we're up until midnight (and I work full-time and have to get up at 5) before she can go to the bathroom. Otherwise she goes 2-3 times during the night, and everything is soaked including her and that's even more work that's NEEDLESS. I tell her every single day; I ask her to write it down in a book and keep track of what she drinks because she must drink a lot because she has a colostomy (whole other problem). I'm starting to think it's a mental block and not physical. Maybe it's my fault for getting upset about it and now she can't go because she's worried about it?
Anyway, I'm really losing my patience with this. I took five days off to try to finally unpack my deceased husband's things that are in storage. I never get time off and need to do this. Now I will be too tired tomorrow because it's already after 12:30 a.m., I'm still up and wound up. I need to get her up by 7 for her pills and then get out of the house and go over there and be back at noon for her. I feel REALLY bad for losing my patience at a 90-year-old woman. I'm not abusive or anything but she knows I'm mad. I try to tell myself maybe she's losing it and I just don't realize it but It's such a freaking easy thing I'm asking her to do. I know she can do it. I guess I'm just really getting burned out. I mean, I shouldn't get upset about this, but at night I'd like to go to sleep at a reasonable hour. I guess that's not going to happen if I'm the caregiver and I'd better just get used to it.