Hello all, I'm 16 and new to this site. I take care of my grandma everyday and was wondering how to set boundaries with her ? She disregards my needs, making me change her diapers, dress her, bathe her, etc.. and acts very mean towards me,calling me derogatory names, complaining, and yelling the whole time. She won't do anything for herself, as in she won't even roll for me to take her diaper off. I just had surgery (foot reconstructive surgery) for my physical disability, yet she still singles me out of the whole house to physically move her. This is hard,as she is near 300 lbs. I've always taken care of her but it's gotten worse in later years. I'm in pain from trying to take care of her still, the disrespect she shows puts me down, and she has no respect for any boundaries I set. Its gotten to the point she yells at me if I don't put her hemorrhoid cream inside of her anus for her. This is my breaking point. I feel guilty for asking, but any advice?
You must NOT put yourself at risk of injury by attempting to move her by yourself.
You may assist if you still wish to but only in the company of an adult in legal terms (which is 18+) They should be the ones responsible for dealing with your grandma and incurring her ire if in pain or need of help.
If you can’t bring yourself to point out that leaving you to deal with this alone is wrong - show your family the answers you have received.