How do I help my 81 year old dad in law who is extremely resistant to change?

My late mother was a legally blind woman who lived alone in her own home in a state far from mine and thousands and thousands of miles from my sole sibling. She was able to find a variety of assists for herself, e.g. mainly from the COB (Commissioner of the Blind). You also could do the research for your dad with this organization.

Once my Mom died, my dad only camped out in the residence until it was time for him to go to an independent living facility. He had no interest in developing ANY additional skills. It could just be his new future. To some extent, he is making this choice.

If Dad lives alone, check out an app called Be My Eyes. It uses sighted people to see things that those without sight cannot. Some examples might be the expiration date on milk, the directions on a bottle of medicine, anything like that. They have a huge database of volunteers.

Get in touch with the Division of Blind services in your county. Dad may need to be referred from his primary care doctor. They would be able to offer adult independent living skills classes and set him up with Recordings for the Blind. I have a blind adult daughter and am familiar with the resources. Maybe dad will get excited when he can do more independently. He may need a therapist for depression or meds temporarily. Reach out to me if you need more help. Does dad live with you? Maybe a part time sitter could be more of a companion.

His wife may have been his "eyes" while his vision was declining. He will need to have a consistent set-up in his home and helpers to be his "eyes". Find your nearest low vision or blind community resources. My grandparents found a group of low vision/blind people to meet with weekly. At 81 years old, he may feel more comfortable having somebody there around the clock. Home health aides and family can fill that need.

He needs to learn how to work with his blindness. Of course, the house should be set up so he can walk around without worrying about running into things. I would wonder if a therapist working for in home care could help him with doing his ADLs. If a doctor orders it then Medicare would pay for it.

You may also call Office of Aging for resources and your county Disabilities Dept. If he bulks, then tell him its not fair to you to have to do everything for him. He is not too old and it will make his life so much better.