I'm hoping somebody can explain to me how I can get my mom placed in a Nursing Home if she refuses to go. There is one Nursing Home locally and that is not an option so the next closest place is 30 miles from here.
I was really wanting her doctor to put her in the hospital when she lost her ability to walk, then send her to long term from there, but her doctor sent her home. Her dementia seems to come and go, one day she can't dial the telephone but the next day she calls the bank and tells them to put more money in her account, then she's talking to somebody else and seems almost fine. Yesterday she forgot my name, but then remembered something I needed to do. Most often she can't remember what day it is or when appointments are. She gets her medication confused so I have to get it for her everyday and she really gets confused by her mail. I take care of her important business for her, yet she wants to see everything that came in the mail. It would be easier for me if she didn't see any of it, but she needs to read everything and then it can take hours to explain stuff to her.
The biggest problem is that she can't be left alone at all and the agency on aging has already told me that she can't be left alone. She might take too many pills or fall and seriously get hurt if left by herself. There's nobody who can take my place, I can only get a few hours of respite per week from an agency and that depends on their availability. I had a respite caregiver leave early and I came home to find my mom on the floor unable to get up. When I called to complain, they yelled at me and cussed me out because they said I was late getting back and the caregiver had to stay on schedule for another visit. Who would have been blamed if my mom would have died? I thought she told me she was there until 4pm but she had to leave at 3pm.
It feels selfish to say it's all about me, but that's what it's come down to, placing my mom in a Nursing Home for MY mental health. If she finds out she's going to a nursing home, she'll likely scream and become combative. I'll have to lie to her to get her in the car, then once she realizes they are taking her inside a nursing home, it won't be pretty.
I need to get this done fast because her Medicaid Waiver has scheduled renovations to be made to her bathroom and front entrance and I want to do this before work is started. I don't know what happens if the agency on aging selects a contractor and the contractor orders the materials but I don't have a timeline, just that the contractor would call me to let me know when they will be coming.
I think I've lost my ability to care how they fix the house, I just want to get by day by day until this is over. My big thing is Medicaid will be spending at least half the value of the house for the renovations. It's a small house and in order to widen the door, they will have to cut an opening in a perpendicular load bearing wall and the perpendicular load bearing wall will be about right in the middle of the new bathroom doorway. It's going to be possible to do this, but it's also going to be very expensive.