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I had a brother who did not help one single time when my Mom was alive. He would do nothing, not even pick up a quart of milk at the grocery. And, he lived next door. He would standing watching out his front window as I struggled to get her and walker in the car. Of course he was always at the head of He line for money at various times. His two adult children were the same.
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DollyMe Sep 12, 2019
This happens so often and it is terrible. Yet, many times, the "boy" is still the favorite, no matter what. Strange world that we live in.
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I would give that idea up! You can not control someone else, even for a necessary reason. You can only control you. I don't mean this nastily, because I certainly would not want to be mean at a time like this, but sweetie, I hate to say it, that is the plain & simple truth. Some people just don't care about anyone else as sad as that is to say, but them self!!
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You ask, and if they say no, f*ck them.

I asked my brother lots of times to accompany mom and/or dad to specific doctor appointments. Which should not have been so hard to do considering he's a teacher and has the whole summer off.

Not once did he help, and is now screaming for his inheritance after my dad passed but while mom is still alive. We finally shut him up by getting a lawyer to tell him if he doesn't knock off the nonsense, my mom can change her will. Even though I don't get why mothers love their sons so much and let them treat them and their daughters like sh*t.

I think that even if he killed me, he'd still be in the will.

A miserable human being.
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Bottom line is that you can't force people to become caregivers, not everyone has the ability or the inclination. Unless the whole family had a meeting and each individually agreed that your parent's should move in with you and that they would donate one weekend each month (or whatever) you can't expect them to fill the gaps in your care plan. So do you have a Plan B?
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We have there appts covered, the problem is having them for the weekends or on holidays. It's usually me or one other sisters that ends us taking them because the others just make excuses or don't reply when we ask? My parents are still able to be alone, we are just trying to get on a schedule in advance before it has to be this way.
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worriedinCali Sep 10, 2019
Hate to say it but your siblings are under no obligation to get on a schedule in advance.
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Are you asking for specific things or just vaguely saying you need help? Some times it works better if they are given specific chores to do - I need you to take mom/dad to the doctor next Tuesday at 3:00.

How is it that you came to have them living with you?
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