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Hello, my sister who lives with my mom with dementia and I do not get along for the reason that she is taking advantage of our mom's health conditions. She has dementia and is progressing fast. Now my sister doesn't let me see her or visit. I have called the police in the city they live in but have been told that I need court papers and they can't help me on this situation because it's not an emergency. My question is, is there a way that I can find out if she has placed my mom in a facility? She has once told me that I would never know if she has put her in one. I have made so many attempts to see my mom but she gives me so many excuses so now I'm very worried. Would appreciate if you can please give me any suggestions on how to see how I can locate my mom if she is in a healthcare facility. She has SS but I know that does go towards her house payments so I'm at a lost with all this. Thank you in advance for you help.

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Jacqie, hopefully your sister isn't your Mom's Power of Attorney. If Mom has no Power of Attorney [sorry, don't understand the police department POA], then you can check out how to apply for Guardianship. Try Legal Aid since budgeting for this is difficult. https://www.agingcare.com/topics/51/guardianship
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Hi Fregflyer, yes there is a back story and that is that she is angry at me for having the credit card company investigate her for ordering a new credit card under my mom's name. My mom who has dimentia can't sign anything per her doctor's and left alone because she needs 24/7 care now. My sister has gotten into drugs so bad that my parents adopted their granddaughter because my sister simply abandoned her. in the past she used one of our father's credit cards shortly after he past. I have tried so much to help her but she simply doesn't want my help and I have tried anything. A power of attorney has been done in the past by police departments want a court order so I can enter the premises. I don't have money to hire a attorney to get a conservatorship which is what most attorneys say I need.
Thank you again for your input, I really appreciate your response.
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Short of hiring a private eye, or doing a bit of sleuthing on your own I cannot imagine how you would find out. A tormented relationship between siblings will go nowhere eventually in helping your mother. I myself would go for "peace at any price" at this point so that I could help with end of life care on your Mom. Send a really nice letter to your sister apologizing for anything you may have done in the past that offended her, offering help that you might be able to give, and tell her that you hope very much she will contact you so that the two of you can heal your relationship and help your Mom. Honestly, I cannot see otherwise how you would ever get anywhere. Your sister is caring for your mother and almost certainly overwhelmed with all that is involved.
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Jacqie Jul 2019
Thank you AlvaDeer for your reply. I have never done anything to my sister that I need to apolgize for. I believe she is upset that I am having her investigated for opening a credit card under my mom's name and in the past has used a Capital One visa card of our dad's shortly after he passed away. She has always been very jeolous of me and don't know why. She is 18 younger than me and she has gotten in to drugs that my parents adopted her daughter my niece. I have always helped her and try to be there for her but she is one that feels she doesn't need help. Thank you again for your reply.
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Jacqie, sorry you are unable to locate your Mom, but there has to be a back story here as to why your sister is keeping that information from you.

With HIPAA law [Health Insurance Portability and Accountability Act], your Mom or whomever has Power of Attorney for your Mom can limit the names of visitors and callers.
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