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My dad has been hospitalized 2x since December. His girlfriend does not like me so I can get no information on his health unless she contacts my sister or my uncle. We are his children and also his brother and its not right what she is doing. If my dad was aware that this was happening he would not approve. I do not think he realized she would do this when he appointed her.


I am wondering if I should hire an attorney and remove her.

denise893: Imho, you should retain an elder law attorney. Your profile states that your father's girlfriend, who you state is his medical proxy, has taken $80,000 out of the equity of the home. That is a very large sum of money. What did she do with these funds? If you think that there is financial fraud committed by the girlfriend, you should gather evidence of that and bring it to the attorney's immediate attention.
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Reply to Llamalover47
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Check with a lawyer who specializes in elder law. If you suspect abuse, then contact the authorities.
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Reply to Taarna
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First, a person holding a POA does not have to give u any information. She represents Dad.

You need to see a lawyer now to stop her ability to get to Dads accts. She has abused her POA responsibilities. This woman could take everything and leave. With Dad going into LTC, she gets nothing because they were not married. His SS and pension will be used for his care if Medicaid is needed. Her spending his money could effect him even receiving medicaid.

I suggest you consider guardianship. This will revoke her POA. Maybe all his children can pitch in the cost with one of you being guardian. I think Medicaid allows you to recoup it from Dads money once you have guardianship. Guardians report to the State so must show financials showing money has not been spent in anyone but Dad.
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Reply to JoAnn29
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I'm posting what's on your profile because it is helpful info that gives more context:

"I am caring for my father, who is 73 years old with alzheimer's / dementia, parkinson's disease, and stroke."

"I am 52 years old. Live in my fathers house with my sister my dad lives with his girlfriend of 16 years. He gave her power of attorney not sure he realized that she would not let us know when something happened with him. She gives us minimal information and same with his brother. This woman managed to get 80grand out of the equity of the house my father owns that I and my sister live in. His health has rapidly declined since Dec 2021 to now. He is currently in the hospital and will need a nursing home. My family has tried to get more health information, even his brother has tried with no success. I am not sure if I should hire a lawyer to remove her from POA. We want to be active in his health care all of us do including his brother. But she will not allow it."

You say his GF has medical proxy, but is she also his financial PoA? Is anyone? If you think there is financial fraud/abuse going on then you need to take your evidence and consult with an attorney. At that point you would be pursuing guardianship of your father if he is currently incapacitated and she is, in fact, guilty of financial abuse. You need to be prepared to pay for the attorney's fees. Guardianship can cost $10K+ even when you are not wresting control from someone else.
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Reply to Geaton777
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You cannot remove her. Only your Dad can. You do not say your father suffers from dementia so I am assuming he does NOT. If this is the case he can sign a release at any time for a family member to receive information on his condition. Call the social worker involved when you visit him. This requires a sound mind. If your father has passed into dementia then no changes can be made and the girlfriend is the lioness at the gate. I would befriend her and form a family tree so members of the family can keep one another informed. Other than applying for guardianship or conservatorship of a demented senior, this is all you can do, and you may not win that if the girlfriend was already made POA by your father.
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Reply to AlvaDeer
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