If I have POA with my grandma can I restrict visits between her and my mom?

Stormy, why is your grandma in a nursing home, i.e., what are her physical and mental impairments?

Why dies your grandma need a debit card if she is in a nursing home? If you took it from her, would she be able to manage to call the bank and order a new one for herself?

Have you discussed this situation with the social worker at the NH?

Is your grandma in AL? Perhaps her giving out money to her daughter is a sign of advancing cognitive decline (assuming she has humble means and can't really afford to give away her money).

You should read your PoA paperwork to see when your authority is activated. It may require 1 or 2 medical diagnosis of impairment, or none at all. If the prerequisites are met then you can physically remove her debit/credit cards and checkbook and just give her a cash allowance every week. If she gives that money to your mom, then she doesn't get any more allowance till the next week. Make sure the allowance is very small. If your grandma keeps any valuables in her room, those should also be removed or put it a locking safe.

You do not mention if Grandma has been diagnoised with Dementia? If she has been, then she is not competent to make decisions. Otherwise, she can do what she wants because your POA is not in effect.

I will assume here you have tried to explain to grandma that by giving Mom money she may not be able to pay her rent. Why does she have a debt card in a place like that anyway? Does she pay her own bills? I personally don't have a debit card. Maybe, she would be better with a prepaid card. You put so much on it for her personal needs, when its gone for the month, its gone.

If you take care of her finances, if she doesn't need the card, I would try to have it cancelled. Explaining that she is financially being taken advantage of. I would not doubt that Mom has the number so it makes her able to charge on-line.

You are in a sticky position. Your profile makes no reference to your grandmother having any mental impairment, and if your grandmother is giving your mother money, and handing her the debit card, then your mother is not stealing from her. (There are other very rude things I would say about someone doing this, but it isn't stealing).

What does your mother have to say for herself about it?

Tell grandma that if she keeps giving your mom money and then happens to run out of money, she's going to get put out of the nursing home because Medicaid won't pay for her bed when she wasted all her funds. Would she understand that? You might also add - if they put you out of here because you gave away all your money, how do you think my mom will take care of you when she can't take care of herself?

The other issue is - does your mom have a drug or alcohol problem? Why does she ask for $30 but take $200? Even though you filed a police report, I bet nothing comes of it because grandma has continued to give her the card and allows withdrawals. UNLESS grandma has dementia issues - then all the more reason to take the card from her.

If she's in a facility, why does she even need a debit card? Take the card away. If your name is on the account, pay for the things that she needs. You can pay the NH for her from the account using the debit card.

Obviously she loves her daughter, so I wouldn't suggest barring her from visiting. If g'ma no longer has the debit card, the visits may dwindle without going that far. And you won't have hurt g'ma in the process

If your grandmother is being used and is giving or having money taken from her which should be used to pay for her care at a nursing home, then you must intervene at once. First of all, get rid of ALL CREDIT CARDS. Assume full responsibility with all accounts, checks, savings, etc. so YOU have control of the money. She can't just spend and spend if she needs it for her care. And lay down boundaries with your mother too at once. Perhaps ask an eldercare attorney for additional advice.

Just curious but............. how is the nursing home being paid? Does your Grandmom have saved funds or is she just getting by on social security? I'm asking because if she has not been dx with reduced mental capacity, the PoA is useless and she can give her money to whomever she pleases. Perhaps you could have the NH financial officer suggest that Social Security funds be funnelled directly to them which would insure that your Grandmom isn't asked to leave because of non-payment. She would get a small amt of her check deposited to her personal acct at the NH but she wouldn't have a major windfall to give her daughter. Just a thought and maybe you've already tried it. Hugs and good luck

In short, YES! Place a restraining order on mom.

Yes, you can. We had a similar situation where we had to wrest the POA away from our Dad's former caregiver (his EX-wife). We thought about taking her to court, but our lawyer advised against it as it would stress our Dad.

When I was the POA, I signed legally for him. Basically, I spoke in his stead. You have every right to do so. We sent a letter to our stepmother, and basically ordered her to stay away.
Here's the deal for you. You have already made a police report. Your grandmother is considered incompetent to make decisions, therefore you can do so. If your mother has a problem with supervised visits, let her take it to court. You would win, so she would be advised to not pursue it.
If mom needs money, then by all means, talk to your grandmother and the two of you decide together. That way, g-ma can't say you are keeping her from doing what she wants. Otherwise, don't bring this up with your grandmother as it only agitates her. What a sticky situation! If your mother really loves her mother, she would comply and not cause drama with your grandmother.
We've been there and it's no fun at all.

Nend more info.
Do you just have POA for Grandma's Health or do you also have POA regarding Grandma's finances?
Acruelly, if Grandma has her wits about her, she can do as she likes with her money.

you may not like it but It's really none of your business.

EIither way, Nursing Homes are an Awful Place to live in and it's a very lonely place, especially if you don't get a visitor every day to have something to look forward

You should not keep your mom from visiting Grandma.

Maybe try using Checks and not a debit card, that way your mom can't change the amount on a check.

When Grandma runs out of money then Medicaid will pay.