He has verbally abused me for 4 and a half years. Now he’s doing it about my grandchildren. I’m on disability and can’t afford much. I need an apartment for seniors 55 and up. My income I do get has always went in the house. But he bullied me saying I won’t be allowed anything in the divorce because of my income even though his is $125000 yearly and he had me to leave my home when we married and he knew my situation.
Ignore his fat mouth bs. He doesn't get to decide what you get. The judge will decide.
Call divorce attorneys and ask for a free consultation. Many do this and they can guide you through the process.
Just a quick thought. If you didn't seek a divorce in 5.5 years you can collect against his SS and make more money. Ask an attorney about the situation and see if you can get a work around so that you can benefit in that way.
Best of luck finding a way through this terrible situation.
Your abusive husband will probably have to pay you something--unless you had a prennup--he doesn't make so much that that seems probable.
First off, get yourself to a safe space, save as much as you can, avail yourself of all the free services through battered women's shelters and their advocacies.
You will hopefully get a stimulus check for you--I have retired, but both DH and I got separate ones. ( I'm talking about the first round).
Doesn't sound like he's going to be 'amicable'--abusive men rarely are--but facing legal wrangling, he'd come out better off financially if he settles a sum on you and you can start over.
I hope you have friends/relatives/church family you can reach out to. I have a friend who is in the exact same position as you---but she cannot bring herself to leave her home. After years of abuse and neglect, that's her 'norm' and she seems content to simply complain endlessly. You deserve a peaceful, happy life.
For me, I would not want anything from this man. I would walk away with what I could carry. You can divorce without the other persons permission. My friend didn't know she was divorced until she got the paperwork. As long as you are not asking for anything, it should not cost you a whole lot. There is legal aid.
Divorces can cost less if the parties are amicable with no assets as you can practically do it yourself- only if both parties agree.
The above situation rarely happens when there are mutual assets & salaries. Aren’t you going to want/need alimony? If he makes that much you may be entitled to alimony.
You need to pay an attorney to get what you are entitled to. This will depend on years married, children, etc.
Divorce attorneys require retainers to start. Then you pay as you go.
I agree with Alva. Start squirreling away some money and save up for a retainer and more.
If your husband is abusive seek out a domestic violence woman’s shelter. Don’t become the next victim of domestic abuse.
I will give you one more option that I would say is for the desperate. That would be to go to a local Hospital ER (yes, risky right now; so you may want to save and wait and plan on this one for the Spring), tell them you are being threatened and abused. You are not, according to you yourself being physically abused, so you are unlikely to get admission of any kind, but you may get access to Social Workers who could guide you to housing and to help.
I honestly don't have any other options. You need to start saving every penny you can beg, borrow or steal from the family coffers; you will need it until a division of assets can come through.
I am a bit confused how you are on disability with a husband making 125,000 a year, but that at the moment is I guess neither here nor there.
Start by contacting Legal Aid in your area and ask for their help.