How do I get my father with dementia to shower?

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My dad has all of a sudden stopped showering and shaving on a daily basis.
We asked about it, he says he does shower every day. Which is obvious he is not.


I am not expecting him to do this daily, but it has become a battle when I go there and ask him to shower. I work full time so I do not have alot of flexibility in my hours.
FInally he did it yesterday while I was there but the argument was exhausting.


Trying to do this without getting Assisted living involved until I understand they reason. Also cost will be more and I think Dad would be resistant to others helping.


Appreciate your response. Even suggestions on how to approach this with him so it would not be combative would be helpful.

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I know that Teepa Snow has a video. Maybe look it up on YouTube. Sorry not more helpful.
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ConcernDaughter, there are caregivers who just do "bath/showers". Call around to the various caregiving agencies to see if they have a "bath aide". Payment of the Aides time should come out of Dad's wallet.

Usually elders stop showering because they fear falling. If there are no grab bars in the bathtub or shower, have some installed. Most plumbers know how to do this, well worth the cost. If there is no tub mat, place one. Dad might even need a shower chair.

Some elders feel claustrophobic in a shower, and they go into a panic attack. If Dad doesn't want to shower every other day or third day, there are adult wet wipes that Dad can use that are really helpful, find one that has a pleasant scent.

My Dad didn't want his caregiver to help him shower but she knew he needed help. So after hearing enough "no" answer from Dad she put her arms on her hips and said "Mr. Bob, I raised a houseful of boys, there isn't anything I hadn't seen".... that got Dad laughing and the caregiver had no problems after that.
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I don't know if there is any good general way to handle this situation because everyone's parent is different. My Dad has dementia and Mom has Parkinson's and they are living with me.  I do work full time also.  My Dad is the most stubborn, yelling, person these days, can't remember where he left things, thinks someone is stealing them, hiding them around the house, and then throwing tantrums most everyday. The way I handle the situation is to explain things in humorous ways--like play acting as if I was a thief. "Oh, I got to get these old tools at 3:00 am, clean them up, and place them around the house in hidden places, I don't know why I do this, I just like to!" He seems to respond better to this than me trying to reason with him directly (or raise my voice). He likes to play along usually. Eventually, we go through the routine again, and again, and again. I find this is much easier on me mentally, because sometimes I can get a smile out or chuckle.

I hope you find a solution, because it is draining and tiring, I know. Maybe you can give a reward if he takes a bath like McDonalds, etc.
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