How do I get away if my husband isn’t ready for me to bring someone in to stay with him? I need a break.

One cannot reason with an unreasonable person, your husband sounds like he is suffering from dementia and is not thinking clearly. There is a point when we caretakers need to start taking care of ourselves, it is not all about your husband you have rights too and if you do not take care of you...you cannot take care of anyone else.

Eloise
You don’t need permission. You need a caretaker. So follow the guidelines given and do it with a sense of urgency. Your life depends on it.
Put your grands on your calendar. Make a date, line up the caretaker and go.
Do this on a regular basis. Taking care of you IS taking care of him.

Ahmijoy’s suggestions are good to follow. Eventually you will need to decide when it has to be your decision, not your husband’s. Most husbands would always choose for you to be the one to stay at home with him, but it’s a prison sentence for you.

He has Alzheimer’s/dementia? It’s very difficult to reason with people who suffer with this disease and hard to make sense of what they say or want. My mother had dementia and suffered from extreme delusions and hallucinations. She thought she was a famous actress in the Broadway Stage. Her red winter coat was a beautiful satin cape. Men were stalking her. They had moved her entire facility, including the brick and mortar building and all its residents to Russia overnight. Once I realized that her brain wasn’t working any longer, it was somewhat easier to accept.

Tomorrow morning, call your local Area Agency on Aging, sometimes part of the Department of Human Resources or Jobs and Family Services in your county. Tell them you are your husband’s caregiver and you need help. They will assign you a caseworker who will come to your home and asses your situation and your husband’s needs. They will be able to offer you help. Sending hugs. I know this isn’t easy.