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I am all alone in this and just not sure what I am doing. I need a break. Would like to see my granddaughters. Sometimes he seems so normal and the next minute he wants a bike. Can’t hardly walk. Will home health help with taking him to the drs? So many issues I can’t name them all.
thanks for listening

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One cannot reason with an unreasonable person, your husband sounds like he is suffering from dementia and is not thinking clearly. There is a point when we caretakers need to start taking care of ourselves, it is not all about your husband you have rights too and if you do not take care of you...you cannot take care of anyone else.
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Eloise
You don’t need permission. You need a caretaker. So follow the guidelines given and do it with a sense of urgency. Your life depends on it.
Put your grands on your calendar. Make a date, line up the caretaker and go.
Do this on a regular basis. Taking care of you IS taking care of him.
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Thats what I was gonna say, u can't take care of anybody unless u take care of u:)
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Ahmijoy’s suggestions are good to follow. Eventually you will need to decide when it has to be your decision, not your husband’s. Most husbands would always choose for you to be the one to stay at home with him, but it’s a prison sentence for you.
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Eloise1943 Jun 2019
Thank you so much. I guess I am just afraid of making more trouble. If things go right for him he is fine but if I rock the boat he can be very mean. To be truthful I am becoming mean.
This forum helps I will call and see what I can. Thanks so much for responding.
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He has Alzheimer’s/dementia? It’s very difficult to reason with people who suffer with this disease and hard to make sense of what they say or want. My mother had dementia and suffered from extreme delusions and hallucinations. She thought she was a famous actress in the Broadway Stage. Her red winter coat was a beautiful satin cape. Men were stalking her. They had moved her entire facility, including the brick and mortar building and all its residents to Russia overnight. Once I realized that her brain wasn’t working any longer, it was somewhat easier to accept.

Tomorrow morning, call your local Area Agency on Aging, sometimes part of the Department of Human Resources or Jobs and Family Services in your county. Tell them you are your husband’s caregiver and you need help. They will assign you a caseworker who will come to your home and asses your situation and your husband’s needs. They will be able to offer you help. Sending hugs. I know this isn’t easy.
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Eloise1943 Jun 2019
Thank you for your thoughts. I just have to get up my nerve and do something. I need to find out about respite care.
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