Follow
Share

I am caring for my grandmother who is on hospice in my home. She is on morphine and an anti anxiety drug and can barely speak. I moved her here because her son who was "caring" for her is awful. She wanted to be with me and her great grandkids. I found out my uncle (her son) has access to my brother's debit card in her name that she manages because he is autistic and in a group home. He pulled out money and I called to cancel the card. Now they won't issue another card unless they speak to my grandmother. I told them she can't speak and they had the nerve to say she has to come in the bank. She's literally bedridden and can't even use the restroom much less go to a bank. So now my brothers money is basically frozen and I don't know what to do. I need access to that money to pay for rent in his group home. However he isn't on the account it's just in grandmother's name. Anyone know what I can do here? Retrospectively I feel like I should have just said I was her but I've already explained the situation to one person who was less then helpful. Where do I go from here? His disability checks are directly deposited into her account that I've canceled the card to due to theft. I just need another card issued to access the money. Thanks for reading. Any suggestions?

This question has been closed for answers. Ask a New Question.
How awful!

Did you try to do a replacement card online before you cancelled the card? Probably not, huh?

Can she sign her name if you type up a letter?

Does she have an attorney that she uses? I would contact an attorney and explain the situation.

Maybe you could ask if the bank can send someone to your home.
Helpful Answer (3)
Report
WearyJanie Mar 2023
They will send people to your home sometimes.
(0)
Report
If you advised your Grandmother could not speak, it was reasonable for the bank to ask she turn up in person. How could they know how ill she is? The bank is acting to protect your Grandmother & her assets after all. They cannot issue new cards on the request of an unauthorised person over the phone.

If she cannot speak, sign or act for herself, then she cannot. This is when a POA takes over (often needing a Doctor letter to confirm).

Do you know if your Grandmother appointed a POA?
Helpful Answer (4)
Report

If you have a smartphone or a laptop, Facetime or Zoom the bank with your grandmother present. It's then up to the bank to support their customer with accessing her accounts - let them come up with a workable solution for her.

Meanwhile call your brother's facility's managers and explain the situation to them. It sounds as though your grandmother will no longer be able to act for him in any way and he is going to need a guardian. They should have the right contacts to give useful, practical advice on the best way to proceed to protect his interests. By the way, if you don't want to volunteer for that role indefinitely it would be best to make it known from the outset.
Helpful Answer (5)
Report
CaregiverL Mar 2023
Yes , Country…when I needed something notarized by bank, Bank Mgr requested zoom call w/ mom & me even though I was POA ..& bank knew me & mom for years! But I still signed for mom since her hands disabled & dementia unable to understand what it was for! Uuuggghhhhh!!! So frustrating!
(1)
Report
You need to contact the group home to let them know the situation and find all the paperwork your grandmother may have concerning POA, wills, trusts, etc, to see what she has set up for the care of your brother. It seems that she may not have anything in place for your brother so you need to find out if you need to have a guardian appointed for him. Unless your grandmother can speak to the bank AND convince them that she is of sound mind, they aren't going to do anything for you. I ran into a similar problem for my father during the pandemic lockdown and the bank was unrelenting. You need more help here than just the banking problem although I see it is the most pressing one currently.
Helpful Answer (3)
Report
CaregiverL Mar 2023
Grandma is NOT competent or of sound mind!!! She is bedridden on hospice!
(1)
Report
See 1 more reply
Lia, I am going to assume your uncle is probably POA (Power of Attorney) for your grandma. Is he the person who helped arrange hospice? When my father needed home health and then its hospice program, someone having POA for the patient was confirmed as part of the intake process.

I think if your uncle is POA, you are going to have to contact APS (Adult Protective Services) and report him for misusing the funds of an incapacitated elder (and a vulnerable adult too, your brother). Hopefully APS would be able to advise you how to deal with the debit card situation as quickly as possible to make sure your brother’s housing and care isn’t disrupted.

I am so sorry you are going through this at such a stressful time already. Your grandmother is lucky to have such a caring granddaughter.
Helpful Answer (1)
Report

Im so sorry for your situation. How long has your grandmother been living in your home? I'm surprised that the bank canceled a card over the phone like that.
Helpful Answer (2)
Report

Adult Protective Services for both and then an Elder Law Attorney if all your issues can't be addressed.
Helpful Answer (0)
Report

I agree that you should contact the bank to set up a Zoom call to see if you can be made joint on her checking or she can be issued a new card... assuming no one is her FPoA.

if she doesn't have a PoA and if she's well enough to manage a Zoom meeting and answer questions then she's well enough/has capacity to create a DPoA. In her case it might be best to download the forms from Legalzoom.com or Rocketlawyer.com. Then you will need a notary who makes house calls and 2 no-family witnesses (usually: it varies by state).

Other than this you will either have to involve social services for her county or pursue guardianship of your Grandma, which will be very expensive and time-consuming and you will need to prove she doesn't have capacity and it can probably be contested by her son or other relatives.

Maybe consider a consultation with an elder law attorney to see what the best options are.

FYI it is NOT unreasonable for the bank to protect their customers from fraud & financial abuse by insisting she be properly ID'ed. I had to drag in both my Aunts, ages 100 and 102 at the time (one with advanced dementia and the other who was barely mobile) by myself to their bank just to add me as their FPoA.
Helpful Answer (3)
Report
NeedHelpWithMom Mar 2023
That’s so ridiculous that you had to drag in your elderly aunts. The bank should implement a new policy that they send a bank employee to your home.

Attorneys meet with elderly clients in their homes. Even some doctors are making house calls again. What a shame that you had to bring your aunts to the bank.
(2)
Report
See 4 more replies
You need to see an Elder law attorney asap. They will help you with all this mess. Your grandma is lucky to have a loving granddaughter! Does Uncle have POA? Was he paying for Grandma & brother care w/ card you canceled? How long was her son (your Uncle) taking care of her? How do you know Uncle “stealing $$$ for himself” instead of paying for group home rent & other necessities for grandma? How do you know grandma wanted to be with you & great grandkids if she can barely speak? Did you ever take care of her before or just when she became incapacitated? I feel like I don’t have full story. Hugs 🤗
Helpful Answer (4)
Report

You canceled the card but did they freeze the acct? If they did not freeze the acct then you just write checks. The acct can be deposited into and withdrawn from. Debit Cards are only for convenience because they can be used like credit cards. My husband and I don't have one. Still write checks. Thats if grandmom can sign her name.

I would think GMom is brothers payee with SS. Someone else needs to apply for payee. Also, if that acct was frozen, SS may not be able to deposit into that acct. SS needs to be notified of any changes. They do not recognize POA. Is Uncle POA?
Helpful Answer (2)
Report
Catskie62 Mar 2023
Joann, I didn't see your post Lol
(0)
Report
Just a thought, I'm wondering if you write a check payable to the care home, have grandma sign it& you can mail it.
Helpful Answer (3)
Report

I doubt that Zoom would work in this case, as the Bank needs proof as to whom they are speaking with. One would need to present photo identification, maybe a blank check or bank ID card. Don't know if such ID would be readable on Zoom.

In the olden days, the Tellers knew their customers by name as the customers would stop in regularly with doing banking business. And the customers would know all the people in the bank by name. I know my late parents did. Now a days it is more difficult as so many are using their cellphones for banking business, there is no face time with anyone at bank.
Helpful Answer (0)
Report

I had to get a Notary several times to help with immobile parents financial needs. The bank itself should have a notary. I hate the ignorance financial institutes show when it comes to these situations
Helpful Answer (0)
Report

What is happening here is
Fraud
Elder abuse
Theft.

You need to first make a police report.
Secondly, someone who is able to do this fiduciary duty needs to apply for temporary guardianship or conservatorship. They will then be given papers with which they can manage accounts and finances. The banks SHOULD protect, until them, all funds in your grandmother's accounts.

It is important whomever applies for guardianship understand that this is a legal fiduciary duty that will be held to the highest standards of meticulous record keeping of every penny in and out of accounts.

See an attorney. File police reports. This is reportable to the DA.
Call APS if you need help to get started and tell them what you have told us.
Helpful Answer (1)
Report

This question has been closed for answers. Ask a New Question.
Ask a Question
Subscribe to
Our Newsletter