My mother is 87. She use to be as sharp as a tack. Three years ago she had a Heart attack, Had open heart surgery and had a stroke either during or right after surgery . The docs aren't sure.
Three weeks ago the electric company came to the door. Said Mom was 2 months past due. In the 63 years my parents lived here they have never been late on any bill. So, I let that one slide.
This morning as I was dealing with the service guy from AT&T at the house, Mom says there is someone at the door. I replied "no mom its the AT&T guy. Don't worry. So I opened the door to prove my point and there was this big burly guy from the Water department and a lady dressed in casual business attire at the door. They came to collect some money or they were gonna turn off the water. Holy sh*t, I had them wait outside and told mom who it was.. She said she paid it but couldnt find it in her check register.
The last check record she had was in April. They are here to collect for April thru June. So then Mom said that she mailed it and it musta got lost. I told her if she mailed it she would have recorded it in her check register. Then she blamed it on never getting the bill. That may be so but I doubt it. Never happened before. This is two times in a month that we have had people coming to the door to collect.
Now besides these two incidents she has overdrawn her bank account twice now. Once in 2017 and again just last week. the part that makes me ill is that she does not have overdraft protection but since her SS check is automatically deposited I guess BofA uses that like a savings account. So all these little $5.00 and $10.00 donations that she makes get paid but with a bank fee of $35 a pop. OMG!
Now the only thing my mom seems to look forward to is the mail. She cant wait for it to come so she can look thru every little piece thoroughly. Plus she thinks she is going to win the PCH sweepstakes.
I counted up the number of charities she donates too and I made a spread sheet. Ready for this? Eighty.
(80) Eighty different charities. She will send a check to anyone who asks. I'm not kidding. The thought has crossed my mind that maybe she is trying to buy her way into heaven. She's even had to dip into the Family trust to balance her own account out. I tell you my Father is rollin in his grave right now. She's buying all kinds of crap from PCH as well. Then if she doesnt like it I gotta run it back to the post office. (this happens quite alot. She thinks she'll be reimbursed for the shipping back and she won't be. I had to argue with her about that. She insisted to me that they will. But they won't.
So far her charity contributions equal the amount of one months SS check. so that's not bad and if it makes her happy. I cant get too p*ssed off. It's just that I feel they are taking advantage of her. Yesterday I found one that said add us to your estate. I'm like Oh h*ll no....
I told mom I'll be more than happy to take her shopping and she can buy some half way decent things that she wants instead of buying from PCH, but she wont go. I think its just hard for her in her condition and in a wheelchair to do that sorta thing anymore. I feel so bad for her.
I'm her full time, live in caregiver. And I still want her to feel some independence. But it's scaring me about the knock on the doors wanting payment. and the notices from the bank that she's overdrawn.
What do you think I should do. Wade it out a little longer or rip the last bit of her independence away from her?